Posted by Leo

I wanted to take a moment to inform you about an upcoming series we will be teaching in Student Ministries at Saddleback Church Irvine.  Beginning the weekend of February 14, I will be teaching a series entitled The Sex.  This two-week series is designed to give students an overview of God’s plan for sex.  Here are the two subjects we will cover:

        

February 14: What We Hear and See about Sex

 

February 21Answering Tough Questions (Pornography, Abuse, Oral Sex and How Far is too Far)     

 

This series is not designed to be a sex education course, but rather an attempt to give students a Biblical understanding of sex. 

  

I’m sharing these insights with you so you will know what your student will be hearing, and so you can use them as launching pads for discussion. I also wanted to give you this “heads up” because I recognize some of you may not feel the timing is appropriate for your child. If this is the case, please feel free to have them attend the adult worship service for the two weekends of this series.

 

If youhave any questions please feel free to contact Leo Galarza at 949-573-8733 oremail leog@saddleback.com

 

Thanks for allowing our Student Ministries team to play a small part in God’s plan for your student’s life!


Leo Galarza

Director of Student Ministries

 



Posted by Leo

Hillsong United, the worship band based out of Hillsong Church of Australia,
have been pioneers of a movement called "The I Heart Revolution". Without
going into too much detail...they have created a documentary film based on
their experiences traveling through different cultures of the world,
bringing people into the presence of God through worship, and the many
stories of hope, loss, love, and sacrifice that they have encountered along
the way. To read more about it, or to see the trailers for the movie, you
can visit the website at www.theiheartfilm.com <http://www.theiheartfilm.com/> .

With that being said...on Wednesday, Nov 4th, we will not be having our
"typical" C-Group/Small Group meetings. What we WILL be doing in place of that is
meeting at the Irvine Spectrum at 7:30pm in order to go see this film. We
ABSOLUTELY hope that you will bring your students and allow them to be a
part of this! Come and bring the whole family along...that would be great
too! The more the merrier =) It will be an awesome film full of inspiration,
and truly an eye opener to the different cultures and ways of life in the
world around us. To purchase tickets for this movie, you can do so online at
the iheart website mentioned above, or you can go to fandango.com <http://fandango.com> . The name of the movie is "Hillsong United: We're All In This Together" and there is only one showing at 8pm on Nov 4th! Tickets are $20 and it would be a good idea to purchase your tickets far in advance, because it WILL sell out as it keeps getting closer to the date.


Posted by Leo

A look at some of the lists that shape our cultural landscape.  We provide these lists as a way of taking the pulse of pop culture and society. In addition to being informative windows into the world of youth culture, these lists make great discussion starters with kids. Most of the lists are updated on a weekly basis, so check back often to stay up-to-date.


Movies

10/2/2009 - 10/4/2009

  1. Zombieland, $25 mil
  2. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, $16.7 mil
  3. Toy Story, $12.5 mil
  4. The Invention of Lying, $7.4 mil
  5. Surrogates, $7.3 mil
  6. Whip It, $4.9 mil
  7. Capitalism: A Love Story, $4.9 mil
  8. Fame, $4.8 mil
  9. The Informant!, $3.8 mil
  10. Love Happens, $2.8 mil

Source: Box Office Mojo
_______________________________________________________________________

 

Video Games

10/5/2009

  1. Halo 3: ODST - Xbox 360
  2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - Xbox 360
  3. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves - PS3
  4. Assassin's Creed: Director's Cut - PC
  5. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - PS3
  6. Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days - DS
  7. Brutal Legend - PS3
  8. Brutal Legend - Xbox 360
  9. Cradle of Persia - PC
  10. Borderlands - Xbox 360

Source: Gamestop.com
_______________________________________________________________________

  

Artists on MySpace Music

10/5/2009

  1. Lil Wayne
  2. Lady Gaga
  3. Beyonce
  4. Taylor Swift
  5. Eminem
  6. Soulja Boy Tell 'em
  7. Keri Hilson
  8. T.I.
  9. Miley Cyrus
  10. Kings of Leon

Source: MySpace Music Top 10 "Major" Bands List
_______________________________________________________________________

 

Radio Airplay (Top 40 Category)

10/6/2009

  1. Jay Sean - Down
  2. Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
  3. Miley Cyrus - Party In the USA
  4. Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
  5. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
  6. Jason DeRulo - Whatcha Say
  7. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
  8. Mariah Carey - Obsessed
  9. Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk
  10. Beyonce - Sweet Dreams

Source: Mediabase
_______________________________________________________________________

 

Online Music Videos

9/28/2009-10/3/2009

  1. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi (Live @ VMAs)
  2. Paramore - Ignorance (Live Unplugged)
  3. Jay-Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Live @ VMAs)
  4. Beyonce - Single Ladies (Live @ VMAs)
  5. Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem - Forever
  6. Paramore - That's What You Get (Live Unplugged)
  7. Paramore - Brick By Boring Brick (Live Unplugged)
  8. Paramore - Decode (Live Unplugged)
  9. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
  10. Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

Source: MTV.com Most Popular Videos

_______________________________________________________________________

 

TV Shows

9/28/2009 - 10/4/2009

 

Rank

TV Program

Audience (in millions)

 

 

 

1.

NCIS (CBS)

21.4

2.

NFL: Chargers @ Steelers (NBC)

18.4

3.

NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

17.4

4.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC)

17

5.

CSI (CBS)

15.9

6.

The Mentalist (CBS)

15.8

7.

Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

15.7

8.

House (Fox)

14.7

9.

Desperate Housewives (ABC)

14.6

10.

Criminal Minds (CBS)

14.2

 

 

 

Source: Neilsen Media Research
_______________________________________________________________________

 

Albums

Issue Date 10/17/2009

  1. Barbra Streisand - Love Is The Answer
  2. Paramore - Brand New Eyes
  3. Mariah Carey - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel
  4. Breaking Benjamin - Dear Agony
  5. Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue
  6. Jay-Z - The Blueprint 3
  7. Madonna - Celebration
  8. Miranda Lambert - Revolution
  9. Selena Gomez - Kiss and Tell
  10. Pearl Jam - Backspacer

Source: Billboard Magazine
_______________________________________________________________________

 

Downloaded Songs

Week of 10/5/2009

  1. Miley Cyrus - Party In the U.S.A.
  2. Jason DeRulo - Wathcha Say
  3. Owl City - Fireflies
  4. Jay Sean - Down
  5. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
  6. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
  7. Jay-Z - Run This Town
  8. Iyaz - Replay
  9. Mariah Carey - Obsessed
  10. Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind

Source: iTunes
_______________________________________________________________________

  

Searches on Yahoo!

10/5/2009

  1. Audrina Patridge
  2. Britney Spears
  3. Elizabeth Smart
  4. Twitter
  5. Shakira
  6. Miley Cyrus
  7. Emma Watson
  8. Hulu
  9. NFL
  10. WWE

Source: Yahoo! Buzz Index

Source:www.cpyu.org


Posted by Leo

Beer - Normal and Fun?

by Walt Mueller

 

*This article originally appeared in Living With Teenagers magazine

 

It was one of those childhood images that cements itself in your mind forever. I was nine when I attended our neighborhood's annual Memorial Day picnic. The peanut scramble for the children was over and the adults were gathering to play their games. Dozens of wives and children watched as several fathers positioned themselves at the starting line for their annual forty-yard dash. The only difference between their race and the sprints at the local high school track meets was that these men were to complete their run while chugging a sixteen-ounce can of beer.

 

On "go" the fathers took off for the finish line with their heads tilted back, beer cans to their lips. It was strange for me to see my friends' fathers "let down their hair" as they dashed across the yard with foamy beer running down their necks and onto their chests. Their wives and children laughed and applauded louder than they would the rest of the day, leaving me with the impression that everyone thought this was the best part of the gathering. To my nine-year-old eyes, drinking looked like a lot of fun.

 

A quick tour of our contemporary advertising culture leaves the same impression. Children and teens who sit down to watch a televised sporting event or attend a game are hit with a never-ending blitz of  beer ads designed to present beer consumption as a necessary ingredient in life's recipe for fun, acceptance, and success. Dr. Henry Weschler, Director of the Harvard School of Public Health College Alcohol Study, says that "television sports programming contain significantly more alcohol promotion than other programming. . . . fans are being hit with pro-alcohol messages at a high rate, and likely have been since they were young." Impressionable because of their age and where they're at in the developmental process, many kids don't know how to filter the messages and wind up swallowing the lies.

 

Consider some of the evidence from the University of Michigan's most recent Monitoring The Future Survey findings:

 

$                   50.5% of our eighth graders, 70.1% of our 10th graders, and 79.7% of our 12th graders have consumed alcohol.

 

$                   23.4% of our eighth graders, 48.2% of our 10th graders, and 63.9% of our 12th graders have consumed so much alcohol that they've gotten drunk at least once in their lives.

 

$                   When asked if they had consumed alcohol during the prior 30 days, 21.5% of our 8th graders, 39% of our 10th graders, 49.8% of our 12th graders, and 67% of our college students said "yes," they had.

 

$                   When asked if they had gotten drunk during the prior 30 days, 7.7% of our 8th graders, 21.9% of our 10th graders, and 32.7% of our 12th graders said "yes," they had.


 

Make no mistake about it, drinking is a huge problem among our teenage population. The most accessible and widely chosen drink is beer. Sadly, my impression is that for a growing number of kids, beer drinking and drunkenness isn't seen as something dangerous, risky, or wrong. Instead, it's seen as normal teen behavior and a necessary rite of passage. These emerging attitudes are threads running through all corners of today's youth culture, including the world of our Christian kids. Don't buy the lie that your kids won't ever feel the pressure, face the temptation, or give in. With that in mind, here are some short suggestions on what you can do to equip your teen to stand strong in the face of mounting pressure:

 

First, take a look in mirror. When it comes to alcohol consumption, what kind of lifestyle are you modeling for your kids? A code of biblical moral conduct lived out in the house is the most powerful shaper of your child's own spiritual values and behaviors. Are you modeling obedience to the laws of the state? Does your model teach that drunkenness is wrong? Does your example leave the impression that alcohol is a necessary precursor to successful social interaction or fun? Are you walking your talk?

 

Second, establish rules and standards. Contrary to what some people think, alcohol and drug use is relatively low among adolescents whose parents have set strict rules. These rules are most effective when parents monitor their teen's behavior and enforce those rules with rewards and punishments. Take a stand and set some boundaries. Your kids need to know that underage drinking is immoral and illegal. Research has shown that parents are more effective as advocates of drug abstinence if they can say, with credibility, that drug use, drunkenness, and underage drinking is morally flawed behavior.

 

And third, play "spot the lie." Instead of tuning out when the parade of beer ads begins, spend time processing the ads with your children and teens. Help them spot both the lies and the bait advertisers use to sell them on beer consumption.

 

I was raised in a home where abstinence was practiced. While my parents didn't believe that taking a drink put someone on a fast one-way trip to hell, they did believe that drunkenness and underage drinking were wrong. I've chosen to practice abstinence in my home. With the number of alcohol and drug problems I've experienced with family, friends, and the teens I've worked with over the years, it's been an easy choice that makes sense. While some might argue that I should be modeling responsible drinking, I'm convinced I am. While the way I've chosen might not be the direction God leads you to take, it's my hope you'll prayerfully seek to consciously address your kids in a world where they're learning that underage drinking is both normal and fun.

 


The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.

 

For more information on resources to help you understand today's rapidly changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.



Posted by Leo

Beer - Normal and Fun?

by Walt Mueller

 

*This article originally appeared in Living With Teenagers magazine

 

It was one of those childhood images that cements itself in your mind forever. I was nine when I attended our neighborhood's annual Memorial Day picnic. The peanut scramble for the children was over and the adults were gathering to play their games. Dozens of wives and children watched as several fathers positioned themselves at the starting line for their annual forty-yard dash. The only difference between their race and the sprints at the local high school track meets was that these men were to complete their run while chugging a sixteen-ounce can of beer.

 

On "go" the fathers took off for the finish line with their heads tilted back, beer cans to their lips. It was strange for me to see my friends' fathers "let down their hair" as they dashed across the yard with foamy beer running down their necks and onto their chests. Their wives and children laughed and applauded louder than they would the rest of the day, leaving me with the impression that everyone thought this was the best part of the gathering. To my nine-year-old eyes, drinking looked like a lot of fun.

 

A quick tour of our contemporary advertising culture leaves the same impression. Children and teens who sit down to watch a televised sporting event or attend a game are hit with a never-ending blitz of  beer ads designed to present beer consumption as a necessary ingredient in life's recipe for fun, acceptance, and success. Dr. Henry Weschler, Director of the Harvard School of Public Health College Alcohol Study, says that "television sports programming contain significantly more alcohol promotion than other programming. . . . fans are being hit with pro-alcohol messages at a high rate, and likely have been since they were young." Impressionable because of their age and where they're at in the developmental process, many kids don't know how to filter the messages and wind up swallowing the lies.

 

Consider some of the evidence from the University of Michigan's most recent Monitoring The Future Survey findings:

 

$                   50.5% of our eighth graders, 70.1% of our 10th graders, and 79.7% of our 12th graders have consumed alcohol.

 

$                   23.4% of our eighth graders, 48.2% of our 10th graders, and 63.9% of our 12th graders have consumed so much alcohol that they've gotten drunk at least once in their lives.

 

$                   When asked if they had consumed alcohol during the prior 30 days, 21.5% of our 8th graders, 39% of our 10th graders, 49.8% of our 12th graders, and 67% of our college students said "yes," they had.

 

$                   When asked if they had gotten drunk during the prior 30 days, 7.7% of our 8th graders, 21.9% of our 10th graders, and 32.7% of our 12th graders said "yes," they had.


 

Make no mistake about it, drinking is a huge problem among our teenage population. The most accessible and widely chosen drink is beer. Sadly, my impression is that for a growing number of kids, beer drinking and drunkenness isn't seen as something dangerous, risky, or wrong. Instead, it's seen as normal teen behavior and a necessary rite of passage. These emerging attitudes are threads running through all corners of today's youth culture, including the world of our Christian kids. Don't buy the lie that your kids won't ever feel the pressure, face the temptation, or give in. With that in mind, here are some short suggestions on what you can do to equip your teen to stand strong in the face of mounting pressure:

 

First, take a look in mirror. When it comes to alcohol consumption, what kind of lifestyle are you modeling for your kids? A code of biblical moral conduct lived out in the house is the most powerful shaper of your child's own spiritual values and behaviors. Are you modeling obedience to the laws of the state? Does your model teach that drunkenness is wrong? Does your example leave the impression that alcohol is a necessary precursor to successful social interaction or fun? Are you walking your talk?

 

Second, establish rules and standards. Contrary to what some people think, alcohol and drug use is relatively low among adolescents whose parents have set strict rules. These rules are most effective when parents monitor their teen's behavior and enforce those rules with rewards and punishments. Take a stand and set some boundaries. Your kids need to know that underage drinking is immoral and illegal. Research has shown that parents are more effective as advocates of drug abstinence if they can say, with credibility, that drug use, drunkenness, and underage drinking is morally flawed behavior.

 

And third, play "spot the lie." Instead of tuning out when the parade of beer ads begins, spend time processing the ads with your children and teens. Help them spot both the lies and the bait advertisers use to sell them on beer consumption.

 

I was raised in a home where abstinence was practiced. While my parents didn't believe that taking a drink put someone on a fast one-way trip to hell, they did believe that drunkenness and underage drinking were wrong. I've chosen to practice abstinence in my home. With the number of alcohol and drug problems I've experienced with family, friends, and the teens I've worked with over the years, it's been an easy choice that makes sense. While some might argue that I should be modeling responsible drinking, I'm convinced I am. While the way I've chosen might not be the direction God leads you to take, it's my hope you'll prayerfully seek to consciously address your kids in a world where they're learning that underage drinking is both normal and fun.

 


The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.

 

For more information on resources to help you understand today's rapidly changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.



Posted by Leo

Feelings—Someone more than feelings

 

By Walt Mueller

 

Last summer, I taught my buddy, Ian, how to water ski. Just like I’ve done with dozens of rookie skiers before him, I ran through a rote litany of instructions designed to prepare Ian for his first-time experience. After telling Ian how to position himself in the water and what to do to get out of the water, I issued this warning: “Once you’re up and out of the water, you will feel an overwhelming desire to pull your hands and the tow rope close to your chest. I guarantee it. But don’t do it! Do it, and you’ll fall over backwards. Tell yourself right now, ‘No matter how much I feel like doing otherwise, I will keep my arms extended and not pull in.’”

 

Why was I so emphatic? Because I remember the first time I water-skied. I pulled my hands into my chest several times over—which of course meant I fell over several times. Even after those falls and repeated warnings from my instructor, I continued to give in to my feelings, which meant that I was spending all my time in, rather than on, the water.

 

Guess what happened to Ian? Like most other rookie water-skiers, Ian trusted his feelings more than the truth of my instructions. He started off spending more time swimming, than skiing.

 

At the same time Ian was learning to water-ski, a young 20-something named Katy Perry sat atop the music charts thanks to kissing another girl and liking it. This pastor’s daughter/former CCM singer turned mainstream pop star told her impressionable young listeners that she was conflicted about the experience, based not on any sort of enduring moral standards, but on her feelings: “If felt so wrong, it felt so right.” In the end, feeling “right” yielded to “like,” which turned into alright, and Perry’s message came through loud and clear. The old ’60s counter-culture motto—“If it feels good, do it!”—is now embraced and embodied as a mainstream cultural mantra, so much so that if you choose not to adopt it and live your life under submission to some outside authority—let’s say Jesus Christ—you’re hopelessly old-fashioned, terribly out-of-date and downright ridiculous.

 

For those of us who love, raise and work with kids, the word feel (and all its relatives) is the f-word that should concern us the most. Not because feelings are bad, but because the growing reliance on feelings as the guide for life is a challenge that cuts right to the core of everything we’re called to teach our students about life in the Kingdom of God. Our students are swimming in a culture where—increasingly—the authority most appealed to when faced with decisions of all kinds is my own feelings, which by the way, can change at any given point in time. Trust me, I know.

 

Any of you who’ve spent any amount of time around me when I’m talking about youth culture know that Jessica Simpson has had me scratching and shaking my head for a long, long time. As high-profile people go, she just might be the poster girl for the place feelings now play in determining the shape of our Christian faith. Just when I start to forget how confusing her strange mix of stated belief in God’s Word and embodied allegiance to whatever feels good really is, she goes and does something that puts her right back in the news. This time it was the September issue of Elle magazine, where she talks about current boyfriend Tony Romo being “the first person I’ve spiritually connected with.” He takes her to church. They pray aloud together before meals. And—here’s the clincher—they pray together before going to bed.

 

If our goal is to lead our kids into a deep faith that informs and directs all of life for the rest of their lives, then we must endeavor to understand the realities of where they’re at so that we might effectively point them to where they are called to be.

 

Recent research from the Barna Group indicates that cultural icons like Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson are living and modeling values, attitudes and behaviors that already are deeply embedded in the fabric of who kids are. The Barna Group’s David Kinnaman and his team of researchers say the shape of faith for Christian kids is less and less orthodox in nature. Instead, they are embracing what’s called a “nouveau Christianity.” Christianity and the Christian life are being reformulated, with belief in absolute moral and spiritual truth now a sign of closed-mindedness. The good news is that faith is still an acceptable attribute and pursuit among students. But the fact is that while students still embrace values that may be consistent with Christian beliefs (goodness, kindness and tolerance), the research is showing that those values are not based on biblical foundations. Sadly, students are increasingly skeptical of the Bible.

 

As we look at the world around us, we must recognize, reckon with and earnestly address the cultural reality that our students are not embracing an Other-defined faith that’s built on the unmovable foundation of God’s Word (incarnate and written), but a personally defined fluid faith built more and more on their own feelings. Feelings rule. Being nurtured in this type of world means that it will be okay or even virtuous for our Christian students to kiss someone of the same sex and like it, or to love and serve God (or whoever/whatever they feel “God” is) by praying with their unmarried significant other at bedtime—simply because it feels right.

 

In order to effectively turn the tide on this shift from timeless foundations to in-the-moment feelings, it’s helpful to understand the unique forces converging in the lives of today’s kids. Why the shift?

 

First, feelings are part of their humanity. God has made us all to be emotional people. Emotions and feelings are not evil or bad in and of themselves. They are a God-ordained part of our makeup. The Scriptures are full of references to human emotion, running the gamut from happy and joyful, to grieving, down-trodden and sad. To be human is to feel. To try to squelch our emotive nature is to squelch our humanity. In sharing in our humanity, the God-man Jesus Christ emoted across the full spectrum, from laughter and joy, to sorrow and weeping. All humans emote, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We must recognize the temptation to overreact that could come with doing ministry in a feeling-oriented culture; that is, that we throw out the beautiful baby of human emotion with the bathwater of misplaced emotional function.

 

Second, the advent of sin into the world undid everything good, including our emotions. Like us, our kids are depraved human beings. Sin and its results have infected every corner of the world and every nook and cranny of our lives—including our emotions. In a post-Genesis 3:6 world, sorrow and sadness visit every life, at times taking up residence in the lives of God’s people for years and years on end. Not only that, but God’s order and design has been turned upside down, including the functioning of our emotions. Like everything else that’s been broken by sin, our emotions have been thrown out of whack. Along with the rocks, trees, mountains and all humanity, our emotions groan and cry out for redemption. And, in the brokenness that is our world, we sometimes allow our emotions to be removed from their God-given place, allowing them to become idols that we follow and serve, rather than a gift to be used in service to God. We live our lives and understand truth based on our feelings, rather than filtering our changing emotions through the unchanging truth of God’s Word—and properly feeling good about that.

 

Third, adolescents are passing through a developmental stage that is, well, emotional! Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman bring a smile to my face every day. They’re the creators of the popular daily comic strip “Zits,” a hilariously funny and all-too-true peek into the life of an angst-ridden teenager by the name of Jeremy Duncan, his frustrated and clueless parents, and his interesting group of friends. Not a day goes by without Jeremy offering readers insight into the emotionally tumultuous and change-filled teenage years. And, not a day seems to go by without his confused parents looking at each other with befuddled looks as if to say, “What’s happening to our boy???” What’s happening is that Jeremy and his teenaged peers are growing through a short period of life that’s jam-packed with more confusing changes, growth and questioning than any other period of life they have faced or will have to face. As a group, teenagers are generally more feeling-oriented and emotionally vulnerable than any other age group. Remember middle school? Consequently, they’re especially vulnerable to falling into the trap of making and embracing an emotionally defined mutation of true Christianity.

 

Fourth, the postmodern world stresses feelings. Perhaps nothing in our culture reflects this more than the world of marketing. In the more modernist early days of television advertising, products were generally marketed using rational appeals to viewer reason. A product was visually compared to a leading competitor’s similar product. When, let’s say, one shirt came out of the washing machine cleaner than the other, there was “scientific” proof as to which product was the one to purchase. Generally speaking, that’s not so today. A classic example of how advertising reflects this shift from reason to feelings is the case of James J. Smith, a child psychologist who spent six years helping advertisers research how to sell to children. Children want love and acceptance, so, like adults, they are willing to spend their money to get it. The basic premise of advertising to children and teens involves “luring” them with a basic felt need and “cloaking the message.” Smith cites an Oreo cookie ad as a perfect example. The ad flashes 30 images of happy children, but the product logo is shown only once. The intended result is to have children associate the cookie with feelings of love and happiness. Nothing is mentioned about the cookie’s taste or nutritional makeup. The appeal is entirely emotional.1 The postmodern world has rejected modernism’s rationality and reason, and it plays well to developmentally vulnerable kids. Kids choose to believe and live by “what I like” or what “feels good to me.” Ravi Zacharias says the postmodern generation “hears with its eyes and thinks with its feelings.”2 Consequently, more and more of our kids construct their own spiritual reality and beliefs using personal subjective experience as their authority.

 

Fifth, our kids feel bad and they desperately want to feel good. I have a love/hate relationship with my friend Chap Clark’s term “systemic abandonment.” Chap says it’s the defining characteristic of today’s emerging generations. In other words, all of the institutions that should be caring for and nurturing kids are ignoring and failing them. I agree. I love the term because it’s accurate. I hate the term for the same reason: it accurately captures the ugly reality of what’s happening with our kids. Because their God-given emotions are correctly telling them that something’s deeply wrong, they oftentimes compensate in dangerous and inappropriate ways in an effort to feel better. Sometimes the avenues pursued are simply cover-ups intended to temporarily anesthetize themselves to reality (drugs, alcohol, sex, disordered eating, materialism, etc.). At other times, they create and re-create false realities—including spiritual realities—that may feel good and work for the moment, helping them to deal with their difficult and broken lives.

 

Finally, they lack any compelling examples of an emotionally balanced life. Stated simply, there are very few adults in their lives who are modeling a lifestyle of balanced emotional management that brings honor and glory to God. Both inside and outside the church, kids see adults (many times their own parents) choosing and living distortions of orthodox Christian faith and life based on what feels good to them.

 

What can we do in and through our homes and ministries to bring about a corrective shift that would lead to a balanced and biblically realistic knowledge of who God is and how to live in His world according to His Kingdom priorities? How can we teach our kids to embrace a faith that shapes and informs their emotions, rather than the other way around?

 

First, always, always, always emphasize the authority of the Word. Most kids don’t realize that all of their decisions in life are made based on some authority. Usually it’s a combination of authorities adopted unconsciously, including peers, media, parents, self, etc. While it is worth seeking out and accepting wise advice from these people and things, the primary authority we’re called to consciously live under is the authority of the One who made us. We must teach our students to consciously recognize, understand and embrace God as the authority in their lives, looking to the incarnate Word Jesus (who said that “all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me,” and God’s written revelation of Himself in the Scriptures, which is “God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”) to guide every step of our lives. But don’t stop there. Teach them how the authoritative Word speaks to every area of life, going to great lengths to speak God’s truth on the matters to which they are deferring to the authority of their feelings. In our postmodern world we can easily be tempted into feeling like we should downplay any truth claims, including those found in the Scriptures. It would be a shame for history to remember our era as the watershed moment when parents, pastors and youth workers didn’t do enough to help kids embrace the authority of the Word over the whims of their wind-blown emotions. Feelings should never eclipse truth. Truth should always direct our understanding of our feelings as the only trustworthy feelings are those grounded in truth.

 

Second, teach them about the dangerous practice of trusting their feelings. I recently had a discussion with a college graduate about a major decision she had made. I didn’t know her well, but she asked my opinion. Before voicing my concern about what I saw as an obvious disconnect between her professed faith and her choice, I wanted to know more about how she came to her decision. She summed it up in four words: “It just felt right.” When I was kid, my dad picked up on the fact that I had a bent toward making impulsive decisions based on my emotions. He warned me that my feelings could play tricks on me, that they were unreliable and that, if trusted, they could lead me down the path of making many unwise, dangerous or even immoral choices. I’m not sure he “felt” I was listening at the time, but his warnings did sink in, albeit rather slowly. In fact, it took some hard lessons learned as the result of feeling-oriented choices to help me see just how tricky our emotions can be. I have learned to never, ever make choices when my emotions are especially high or especially low. If I do, I might give my feelings the sway they shouldn’t have. Walk the kids you know and love through the Scriptures to see how dangerous emotions can be. The Old and New Testaments are full of examples of people who allowed their feelings to eclipse truth and suffered the consequences (David and Bathsheeba, Lot’s wife, Ananias and Sapphira, etc.). On the positive side, the Scriptures and the history of the church also are filled with stories of those who refused to equate the absence of good feelings with the absence of God (Noah, Abraham, Joseph, David, Job, Paul, etc.). They held on to the truth they knew even though their feelings led them down the road of being tempted to do otherwise. One of the best and most convincing tools in your arsenal is to become vulnerable with your kids, sharing the good, bad and ugly from your own life and feeling-based choices.

 

Third, make sure they know that following Jesus doesn’t always feel good. I have many fond memories of a childhood spent in Sunday school. Our teachers utilized all the high-tech tools of music, puppets, crafts and flannel graphs. What I remember the most is the music, particularly the songs that are still ingrained in my mind due to weekly repetition. But over the years I’ve come to regret a few of those songs because they were filled with lies and bad theology. I think some of those songs did more harm than good. Do you remember singing “Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy are the people whose God is the Lord?” I do. It messed me up. It wasn’t until later in life, when I thought that difficulty in life was a sign of the absence of God’s blessing and presence, that the words of Jesus—“take up your cross and follow me”—suddenly became real. I learned that the life of discipleship is costly, painful and usually quite difficult. Martyrs for the faith know grace, mercy and peace. I don’t believe that they really feel good—physically or emotionally—while dying for their faith. Chances are your kids won’t be martyred. But they will suffer in this life. Most of them are suffering already. They need to know that growth usually comes through suffering. In the words of one preacher, “God often puts his children to bed in the dark.” Rarely is it something that we like. We need to teach our kids to meet the unchanging God who is—rather than invent a god that makes sense at the moment—in the midst of their suffering.

 

Fourth, give them the knowledge and skill to utilize the “this I knows.” My wife teaches three-year-olds in Sunday school. Over the course of the year she leads them through the memorization of eight questions from the Children’s Catechism. She asks the questions and they recite the answers back—week, after week, after week. In our worship service, we recite the Apostle’s Creed—week, after week, after week. Some might think we’re subjecting ourselves to brainwashing, or, at the very least, empty ritual. But I have to tell you that this has become one of the most valuable moments of my week. I pray it would be the same for the kids. Why? Because all during the week I face challenges to my faith—some of them quite attractive and compelling. Emotionally, I might even want to “go for it.” But then I remind myself of the “this I knows”—the truths that never waver or change—that serve to keep my emotions, and the dangerous choices that could result from trusting them, in check. I have learned to talk to myself, rather than listen to my emotions. We would serve our kids better if we would fill their wells full of “this I knows.”

 

So whatever happened with Ian? After pulling his hands into his chest a few times, Ian finally got it. When I swung around and picked him up after his first successful run, he looked up at us with a big smile on his face. “Now that felt good,” he said. And so it should. And from time to time, living a life in submission to the Way, the Truth and the Life will feel very, very good.

 

 

 

The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.


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I love technology

 

By Dr. David W. Fraze

 

“I love technology.” Those three words evoke images from the closing scenes of the now teenage cult classic movie Napoleon Dynamite. The words are from the song—if you can call it that—Napoleon’s brother Kip wrote and sang as a tribute to the online dating service and technological world that made it possible for him to meet his new bride Lafawnduh. Maybe not to the level of making a true love vow through song, but today’s culture is passionately embracing technology and all its gadgetry.

 

It is not just the young who are smitten by the technology bug. I was on an elevator recently and could not help but listen in on a conversation between a woman and her high school-aged daughter. With cell phones out, the daughter was explaining the use of various keys in relation to their text messaging function. I could not help but smile and comment to the confused looking mother, “Texting? Yep, teenagers text all the time.” I am not so sure my words brought her any comfort as she struggled to comprehend the number of times she had to push a specific number key to get the desired letter of the alphabet. “I love technology?” Love it or hate it, technology impacts all of us and continues to change and to bring considerable change to the adolescent experience. For parents reading this article, we have gone a long way from “spinning the vinyl” to downloading the MP3 ... or MP4 for that matter.1

 

I spend a lot of time with teenagers. As a result, I am constantly asking questions concerning the latest and greatest techno gadgets, and then get to witness first hand the impact such gadgets have on teenage culture. I read popular and researched articles, watch news reports, skim technological Web sites … you get the picture. I am very intentional about keeping up with change. Still, I continue to struggle to keep my head above the waters of the next technological wave hitting the beaches of teenage America. For instance, just for fun, one of my student interns, Justin Tuley, mentioned I should visit the Trendhunter Web site.2 Wow! This Web site is to technology what Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is to candy. Anything imaginable or soon to be imagined can be found on this site. I found a phone with five fold-out touch screens, a bike powered iPod, digital coffee tables, a robot golf caddy, digital eating wearable to teach kids how to eat with utensils, and I even found a digital Bible key chain and a cross-shaped MP3 player. After touring the “Technology Trends and Gadgets” link for 30 plus minutes, I had barely made a dent in the 181 pages of content. Needless to say, I had to call it quits and move on to my day job. So, before the next wave hits the shore, let’s take a snapshot look at two of the top technologies used by today’s teenager.3

 

Social networking sites

“Hello, my name is David and I have a Facebook account.” You respond, “Hi, David.” Facebook, like other similar sights­—MySpace and Digg, are just two examples— are places of real, social networking used by students and an ever-increasing number of adults.4 It is a place where you can post pictures from your latest adventure, talk smack about your favorite sports team, connect with long lost school buddies, join or create an interest group, support a cause or political candidate, play games, post announcements and communicate through instant message chat, person to person message exchange or comment on any of your “friends’” home page pictures or “wall” so all your “friends” can read and react.

 

As the introduction suggests, the world of Internet social networking can become rather addicting. For instance, if a student develops a connection with me during a speaking event and they discover I have a Facebook account, they will contact my account within hours after the event and ask to be added to my list of friends. Then, if I do not confirm them as friends soon enough, they get upset with me. Understand it is not because I am something special; it is because this is what teenagers do! Teens socially network on the Internet and take such interaction seriously. According to the March 2008 issue of Current Health, the top online activities of teenagers are networking on social-networking sites, reading blogs, watching videos and listening to podcasts.5 John, a teenager I spoke with recently said he believed that while online, teenagers spend “75 percent of their time on Facebook type stuff (Stuff included video and podcasting sites), while much of the Internet remains unexplored.”6 John’s comments are right on target with that reported by Current Health writers.

 

Setting aside the growing number of adult online social networks (By the way, my Facebook friends list includes college presidents and various professionals), some adults frequently respond, “What do these students do in the ‘real world?’” Let me say this clearly, the online social network is part of a teenager’s real world. Furthermore, the farther down the technological road we travel and the gadgets used to connect us in cyber space become faster and more user friendly, the stronger online social networking will become.

 

As with all technological advances, there is good and bad to consider. The good is found in the way teenagers are using social-networking sites to create community with those who want to stand against social injustice, poverty and social inequity. Teenagers are also using online communities as avenues of moral accountability and spiritual discussion. The bad—as online interaction continues to be a clearer reflection of face-to-face interaction—is seen in the increasing concern with cyber bullying, sexual deviance and predator like behavior found among some social-networking sites.7

 

A darker side of social networking does exist. While Facebook is one of the current “hot sites” for social interaction and is constantly monitored, there are other social-networking sites that can be accessed by teenagers that are not monitored by administrators, monitored infrequently, and/or monitored with adult audiences in mind. For instance, over the last few months, Juicy Campus—a site in which users can post, anonymous, slanderous, unverifiable comments for anyone to read—has received mainstream press coverage for the lawsuits being generated by universities, businesses and individuals against the content and procedures followed by the developers.8 Such sites have generated a lot of discussion on how far is too far when it comes to the lack of control present in certain social-networking Web services. Related—but different in presentation—are a number of image pages9 that make for interesting conversation starters and social interaction. One of my favorite sites, because of the dramatic way it has impacted pop culture, is Post Secret.10 This site features a number of card size images with messages representing a secret participants want to anonymously share with the Post Secret social network. The cards are monitored and posted via administrators. It is interesting to see which cards evoke response and interaction from viewers who identify with a particular shared secret. In short, there are countless social-networking sites based on music, sports, schools, sexuality and just about any other topic you can imagine. Be warned and informed, not all of these sites are monitored and/or appropriate for teenage participants or any participants for that matter.

 

With that warning and in keeping with the usual online safety rules, the majority of teenage online users participate in relatively safe social exchange areas. So, whether I like it or not, checking my Facebook account has become more than a leisure type activity, it is something that I do frequently every day. Why? Because Facebook is a place teenagers use to contact me and begin life-changing conversations. Note that I said “begin.” Teenagers who trust my presence in cyber land trust my presence in “real” land and typically carry on conversations with me face to face. So, “Hello, my name is David, and I am a proud Facebook user.” By the way, if you want to wade into the waters of Facebook or another online social-networking site, join to authentically interact with teenagers. Veteran social networkers know how to protect their virtual turf. If they think you are networking to spy, they won’t confirm you as a “friend” and/or drop you from their groups.

 

Video entertainment

I am going to assume you are aware and acknowledge the amazing advancements in portable video technology. If not, go to your local shopping complex, look in the electronics department and be amazed. Even though I do not advocate constant noise on trips (I prefer talking), such advancements have been the answer to many a parent’s nightmare scenarios during long commutes and trips. However, you may not be aware of the explosion of online movies, commercials, political statements, satirical spoofs and wide array of advertising pieces flooding the online video market. The videos are produced and posted from a wide range of video expertise. There are professionally done videos and others that are creations of people simply messing around with a cheap camera and some low-grade video editing software.

 

Whatever the format, online video resources have changed the way consumers access and use the Internet. Advancements in technology have made it possible for someone to watch newly released movies from the privacy of their home as well as participate in board meetings, academic classes, political rallies and even church services from the comfort of a location of their own choosing—in real time—via video links. As mentioned earlier, the excitement generated by online video technology has made video entertainment a solid second place time grabber for teenage Internet users.

 

If “video killed the radio star,” then YouTube killed MTV. At present, YouTube is one of the hottest video posting and viewing areas online.11 Alright, do me a favor. Stop reading this article, go to www.youtube.com and look around for a while. No really, it’s okay. Go look around. What did you find? Being an election year, you probably encountered a number of Obama and/or McCain political messages. More than likely, you noticed that not all the videos were created and endorsed by campaign officials. There were many videos produced by private individuals who have strong feelings for or against a given candidate. Through YouTube, anyone with a camera and editing software can voice their opinions. The goal of YouTube video posting is to attract viewers (score hits) so that it makes the recommended video selection list and/or the currently being viewed video list. Either way, the more people watch, the more attention is placed on the product, person or idea being communicated in the video. Entertainers such as Will Ferrell have brought a lot of attention their way by posting videos that are a little edgy and start a swell of online chat on, you guessed it, social-networking sites.

 

Advertisers have caught on to this and now frequently employ YouTube as a platform to launch viral advertising campaigns. According to Trendhunter, “the video, which is called ‘Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a Wii Fit’ has gone more than a Wii viral—it had 1,014,120” views in its first six days!12 Did you pick up on that? Over one million viewers in six days! That is an enormous return for a crudely constructed online video. It is easy to see how the popularity of YouTube and similar online video Web sites factor into the program shifts being experienced by MTV, VH-1 and other TV video watching stations. You no longer have to wait for your favorite music video to cycle through network programming. Instead, online users can have instant access to their favorite bands via online video entertainment.

 

Like social networking, there is a dark side to be aware of with video entertainment. I am sure there have been pornographic selections prior to my discovery, but fairly recently, I began noticing blatant postings of pornographic video selections on YouTube. The content is alarming enough, but even more alarming is the simple “confirm you are over 18” type boundary that exists between a minor and explicit content. While YouTube’s terms and conditions state that users must be over 18, emancipated, or gain permission from a guardian, etc., this may sound cynical, but anyone can lie. YouTube is an awesome entertainment area and avenue for evangelistic interaction. (Yes, I said and believe that.) However, the pull to sample explicit material has to be taken seriously. By the way, material that would be labeled soft core porn is accessible to all YouTube participants.

 

“I love technology.” Those three words may evoke totally different images after reading this article. If you are a little—or a lot—alarmed at the dangers involved with social-networking and video entertainment sites, you are not alone. However, there are steps you can take that can help alleviate the fear and bring back the love to technology.

 

What should we do?

Same old song—Stay vigilant. I am still amazed that parents allow their teenagers to have a computer in their room.13 Parents, you have to encourage your teenager to practice safe Internet usage and hold them accountable to the standards you set. Chief among all Internet safety practices is to never provide identifying information. Remember, even innocent exchanges of information with a trusted friend on Facebook can be traced, leading to unwanted attention from predators.

 

Acknowledge the importance of and strive to remain informed of the important role social networking and video entertainment plays in the life of teenagers. A lot of fear is generated from a lack of education concerning the Internet and its use. Related to this is the tension caused when adults attempt to downplay the significance of the Internet with teens. Parents, even though it may not make sense to you, acknowledge that social networking occurs for teenagers in cyberspace and attempt to remain educated on the sites your teenager is visiting. Education takes the fear away and gives you more control over usage.

 

Encourage your teen to take a technology fast. Okay, this has to be done by the entire family to work, but it really can be a blessing. Develop a plan and find a day or series of days in which all technology is declared off limits. It will be awkward at first, but imagine the peace and refreshment that will come from placing all phones, computers, TVs, radios, iPods, etc. in the off position.

 

 

Dr. David W. Fraze is a presenter for ParenTeen Seminars (www.parenteen.com) and for three years was the host of the weekly TV segment, “The Teenage Tightrope” (www.theteenagetightrope.com). He also served as the director of the youth and family ministry program at Lubbock Christian University for five years. Dr. Fraze currently works as the director of student ministries at the Richland Hills Church of Christ, while continuing his speaking schedule and teaching as a graduate adjunct professor of youth ministry and related studies.



Posted by Leo

Welcome to the new SSM Irvine website!!! I am Leo Galarza (the weird guy on that video), I am the Student Pastor for Saddleback Student Ministries in Irvine. Our amazing IT department has been working on this website for the last couple of months and the last thing that they need (in order to go online), is for me to write a blog entry, so this is my attempt to do so.

We are so excited that you are here checking us out. We hope that this website can be a tool for you and your student. It is here where you would be able to find what we believe, events, programs, articles to help you understand the teenage culture and much more.

We are going to have weekly updates so make sure you check it out.

If you have any questions about anything please let me know!

Leo




 
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