I wanted to take a moment to inform you about an upcoming series we will be teaching in Student Ministries at Saddleback Church Irvine. Beginning the weekend of February 14, I will be teaching a series entitled The Sex. This two-week series is designed to give students an overview of God’s plan for sex. Here are the two subjects we will cover: February 14: What We Hear and See about Sex February 21: Answering Tough Questions (Pornography, Abuse, Oral Sex and How Far is too Far) This series is not designed to be a sex education course, but rather an attempt to give students a Biblical understanding of sex. I’m sharing these insights with you so you will know what your student will be hearing, and so you can use them as launching pads for discussion. I also wanted to give you this “heads up” because I recognize some of you may not feel the timing is appropriate for your child. If this is the case, please feel free to have them attend the adult worship service for the two weekends of this series. If youhave any questions please feel free to contact Leo Galarza at 949-573-8733 oremail leog@saddleback.com Thanks for allowing our Student Ministries team to play a small part in God’s plan for your student’s life!
Leo Galarza Director of Student Ministries
Wednesday
February
10
2010
10:42 PM
|
Hillsong United, the worship band based out of Hillsong Church of Australia,
have been pioneers of a movement called "The I Heart Revolution". Without
going into too much detail...they have created a documentary film based on
their experiences traveling through different cultures of the world,
bringing people into the presence of God through worship, and the many
stories of hope, loss, love, and sacrifice that they have encountered along
the way. To read more about it, or to see the trailers for the movie, you
can visit the website at www.theiheartfilm.com <http://www.theiheartfilm.com/> .
With that being said...on Wednesday, Nov 4th, we will not be having our
"typical" C-Group/Small Group meetings. What we WILL be doing in place of that is
meeting at the Irvine Spectrum at 7:30pm in order to go see this film. We
ABSOLUTELY hope that you will bring your students and allow them to be a
part of this! Come and bring the whole family along...that would be great
too! The more the merrier =) It will be an awesome film full of inspiration,
and truly an eye opener to the different cultures and ways of life in the
world around us. To purchase tickets for this movie, you can do so online at
the iheart website mentioned above, or you can go to fandango.com <http://fandango.com> . The name of the movie is "Hillsong United: We're All In This Together" and there is only one showing at 8pm on Nov 4th! Tickets are $20 and it would be a good idea to purchase your tickets far in advance, because it WILL sell out as it keeps getting closer to the date.
Tuesday
October
27
2009
10:20 AM
|
A look at
some of the lists that shape our cultural landscape. We provide these
lists as a way of taking the pulse of pop culture and society. In
addition to being informative windows into the world of youth culture,
these lists make great discussion starters with kids. Most of the lists
are updated on a weekly basis, so check back often to stay up-to-date.
Movies
10/2/2009 - 10/4/2009
-
Zombieland, $25 mil
-
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, $16.7 mil
-
Toy Story, $12.5 mil
-
The Invention of Lying, $7.4 mil
-
Surrogates, $7.3 mil
-
Whip It, $4.9 mil
-
Capitalism: A Love Story, $4.9 mil
-
Fame, $4.8 mil
-
The Informant!, $3.8 mil
-
Love Happens, $2.8 mil
Source: Box Office Mojo
_______________________________________________________________________
Video Games
10/5/2009
-
Halo 3: ODST - Xbox 360
-
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - Xbox 360
-
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves - PS3
-
Assassin's Creed: Director's Cut - PC
-
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - PS3
-
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days - DS
-
Brutal Legend - PS3
-
Brutal Legend - Xbox 360
-
Cradle of Persia - PC
-
Borderlands - Xbox 360
Source: Gamestop.com
_______________________________________________________________________
Artists on MySpace Music
10/5/2009
-
Lil Wayne
-
Lady Gaga
-
Beyonce
-
Taylor Swift
-
Eminem
-
Soulja Boy Tell 'em
-
Keri Hilson
-
T.I.
-
Miley Cyrus
-
Kings of Leon
Source: MySpace Music Top 10 "Major" Bands List
_______________________________________________________________________
Radio Airplay (Top 40 Category)
10/6/2009
-
Jay Sean - Down
-
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
-
Miley Cyrus - Party In the USA
-
Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
-
Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
-
Jason DeRulo - Whatcha Say
-
Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
-
Mariah Carey - Obsessed
-
Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk
-
Beyonce - Sweet Dreams
Source: Mediabase
_______________________________________________________________________
Online Music Videos
9/28/2009-10/3/2009
-
Lady Gaga - Paparazzi (Live @ VMAs)
-
Paramore - Ignorance (Live Unplugged)
-
Jay-Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Live @ VMAs)
-
Beyonce - Single Ladies (Live @ VMAs)
-
Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem - Forever
-
Paramore - That's What You Get (Live Unplugged)
-
Paramore - Brick By Boring Brick (Live Unplugged)
-
Paramore - Decode (Live Unplugged)
-
Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
-
Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA
Source: MTV.com Most Popular Videos
_______________________________________________________________________
TV Shows
9/28/2009 - 10/4/2009
|
Rank
|
TV Program
|
Audience (in millions)
|
|
|
|
|
|
1.
|
NCIS (CBS)
|
21.4
|
|
2.
|
NFL: Chargers @ Steelers (NBC)
|
18.4
|
|
3.
|
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
|
17.4
|
|
4.
|
Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
|
17
|
|
5.
|
CSI (CBS)
|
15.9
|
|
6.
|
The Mentalist (CBS)
|
15.8
|
|
7.
|
Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
|
15.7
|
|
8.
|
House (Fox)
|
14.7
|
|
9.
|
Desperate Housewives (ABC)
|
14.6
|
|
10.
|
Criminal Minds (CBS)
|
14.2
|
|
|
|
|
Source: Neilsen Media Research
_______________________________________________________________________
Albums
Issue Date 10/17/2009
-
Barbra Streisand - Love Is The Answer
-
Paramore - Brand New Eyes
-
Mariah Carey - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel
-
Breaking Benjamin - Dear Agony
-
Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue
-
Jay-Z - The Blueprint 3
-
Madonna - Celebration
-
Miranda Lambert - Revolution
-
Selena Gomez - Kiss and Tell
-
Pearl Jam - Backspacer
Source: Billboard Magazine
_______________________________________________________________________
Downloaded Songs
Week of 10/5/2009
-
Miley Cyrus - Party In the U.S.A.
-
Jason DeRulo - Wathcha Say
-
Owl City - Fireflies
-
Jay Sean - Down
-
Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
-
Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
-
Jay-Z - Run This Town
-
Iyaz - Replay
-
Mariah Carey - Obsessed
-
Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind
Source: iTunes
_______________________________________________________________________
Searches on Yahoo!
10/5/2009
-
Audrina Patridge
-
Britney Spears
-
Elizabeth Smart
-
Twitter
-
Shakira
-
Miley Cyrus
-
Emma Watson
-
Hulu
-
NFL
-
WWE
Source: Yahoo! Buzz Index
Source:www.cpyu.org
Wednesday
October
07
2009
4:39 PM
|
Beer - Normal and Fun?
by Walt Mueller
*This article originally appeared in Living With Teenagers magazine
It
was one of those childhood images that cements itself in your mind
forever. I was nine when I attended our neighborhood's annual Memorial
Day picnic. The peanut scramble for the children was over and the
adults were gathering to play their games. Dozens of wives and children
watched as several fathers positioned themselves at the starting line
for their annual forty-yard dash. The only difference between their
race and the sprints at the local high school track meets was that
these men were to complete their run while chugging a sixteen-ounce can
of beer.
On
"go" the fathers took off for the finish line with their heads tilted
back, beer cans to their lips. It was strange for me to see my friends'
fathers "let down their hair" as they dashed across the yard with foamy
beer running down their necks and onto their chests. Their wives and
children laughed and applauded louder than they would the rest of the
day, leaving me with the impression that everyone thought this was the
best part of the gathering. To my nine-year-old eyes, drinking looked
like a lot of fun.
A
quick tour of our contemporary advertising culture leaves the same
impression. Children and teens who sit down to watch a televised
sporting event or attend a game are hit with a never-ending blitz of beer
ads designed to present beer consumption as a necessary ingredient in
life's recipe for fun, acceptance, and success. Dr. Henry Weschler,
Director of the Harvard School of Public Health College Alcohol Study,
says that "television sports programming contain significantly more
alcohol promotion than other programming. . . . fans are being hit with
pro-alcohol messages at a high rate, and likely have been since they
were young." Impressionable because of their age and where they're at
in the developmental process, many kids don't know how to filter the
messages and wind up swallowing the lies.
Consider some of the evidence from the University of Michigan's most recent Monitoring The Future Survey findings:
$ 50.5% of our eighth graders, 70.1% of our 10th graders, and 79.7% of our 12th graders have consumed alcohol.
$ 23.4% of our eighth graders, 48.2% of our 10th graders, and 63.9% of our 12th graders have consumed so much alcohol that they've gotten drunk at least once in their lives.
$ When asked if they had consumed alcohol during the prior 30 days, 21.5% of our 8th graders, 39% of our 10th graders, 49.8% of our 12th graders, and 67% of our college students said "yes," they had.
$ When asked if they had gotten drunk during the prior 30 days, 7.7% of our 8th graders, 21.9% of our 10th graders, and 32.7% of our 12th graders said "yes," they had.
Make
no mistake about it, drinking is a huge problem among our teenage
population. The most accessible and widely chosen drink is beer. Sadly,
my impression is that for a growing number of kids, beer drinking and
drunkenness isn't seen as something dangerous, risky, or wrong.
Instead, it's seen as normal teen behavior and a necessary rite of passage. These emerging attitudes are threads running through all
corners of today's youth culture, including the world of our Christian
kids. Don't buy the lie that your kids won't ever feel the pressure,
face the temptation, or give in. With that in mind, here are some short
suggestions on what you can do to equip your teen to stand strong in
the face of mounting pressure:
First,
take a look in mirror. When it comes to alcohol consumption, what kind
of lifestyle are you modeling for your kids? A code of biblical moral
conduct lived out in the house is the most powerful shaper of your
child's own spiritual values and behaviors. Are you modeling obedience
to the laws of the state? Does your model teach that drunkenness is
wrong? Does your example leave the impression that alcohol is a
necessary precursor to successful social interaction or fun? Are you
walking your talk?
Second,
establish rules and standards. Contrary to what some people think,
alcohol and drug use is relatively low among adolescents whose parents
have set strict rules. These rules are most effective when parents
monitor their teen's behavior and enforce those rules with rewards and
punishments. Take a stand and set some boundaries. Your kids need to
know that underage drinking is immoral and illegal. Research has shown
that parents are more effective as advocates of drug abstinence if they
can say, with credibility, that drug use, drunkenness, and underage
drinking is morally flawed behavior.
And
third, play "spot the lie." Instead of tuning out when the parade of
beer ads begins, spend time processing the ads with your children and
teens. Help them spot both the lies and the bait advertisers use to
sell them on beer consumption.
I
was raised in a home where abstinence was practiced. While my parents
didn't believe that taking a drink put someone on a fast one-way trip
to hell, they did believe that drunkenness and underage drinking were
wrong. I've chosen to practice abstinence in my home. With the number
of alcohol and drug problems I've experienced with family, friends, and
the teens I've worked with over the years, it's been an easy choice
that makes sense. While some might argue that I should be modeling
responsible drinking, I'm convinced I am. While the way I've chosen
might not be the direction God leads you to take, it's my hope you'll
prayerfully seek to consciously address your kids in a world where
they're learning that underage drinking is both normal and fun.
The
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this
article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are
distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.
For
more information on resources to help you understand today's rapidly
changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth
Understanding.
Wednesday
September
23
2009
10:10 AM
|
Beer - Normal and Fun?
by Walt Mueller
*This article originally appeared in Living With Teenagers magazine
It
was one of those childhood images that cements itself in your mind
forever. I was nine when I attended our neighborhood's annual Memorial
Day picnic. The peanut scramble for the children was over and the
adults were gathering to play their games. Dozens of wives and children
watched as several fathers positioned themselves at the starting line
for their annual forty-yard dash. The only difference between their
race and the sprints at the local high school track meets was that
these men were to complete their run while chugging a sixteen-ounce can
of beer.
On
"go" the fathers took off for the finish line with their heads tilted
back, beer cans to their lips. It was strange for me to see my friends'
fathers "let down their hair" as they dashed across the yard with foamy
beer running down their necks and onto their chests. Their wives and
children laughed and applauded louder than they would the rest of the
day, leaving me with the impression that everyone thought this was the
best part of the gathering. To my nine-year-old eyes, drinking looked
like a lot of fun.
A
quick tour of our contemporary advertising culture leaves the same
impression. Children and teens who sit down to watch a televised
sporting event or attend a game are hit with a never-ending blitz of beer
ads designed to present beer consumption as a necessary ingredient in
life's recipe for fun, acceptance, and success. Dr. Henry Weschler,
Director of the Harvard School of Public Health College Alcohol Study,
says that "television sports programming contain significantly more
alcohol promotion than other programming. . . . fans are being hit with
pro-alcohol messages at a high rate, and likely have been since they
were young." Impressionable because of their age and where they're at
in the developmental process, many kids don't know how to filter the
messages and wind up swallowing the lies.
Consider some of the evidence from the University of Michigan's most recent Monitoring The Future Survey findings:
$ 50.5% of our eighth graders, 70.1% of our 10th graders, and 79.7% of our 12th graders have consumed alcohol.
$ 23.4% of our eighth graders, 48.2% of our 10th graders, and 63.9% of our 12th graders have consumed so much alcohol that they've gotten drunk at least once in their lives.
$ When asked if they had consumed alcohol during the prior 30 days, 21.5% of our 8th graders, 39% of our 10th graders, 49.8% of our 12th graders, and 67% of our college students said "yes," they had.
$ When asked if they had gotten drunk during the prior 30 days, 7.7% of our 8th graders, 21.9% of our 10th graders, and 32.7% of our 12th graders said "yes," they had.
Make
no mistake about it, drinking is a huge problem among our teenage
population. The most accessible and widely chosen drink is beer. Sadly,
my impression is that for a growing number of kids, beer drinking and
drunkenness isn't seen as something dangerous, risky, or wrong.
Instead, it's seen as normal teen behavior and a necessary rite of passage. These emerging attitudes are threads running through all
corners of today's youth culture, including the world of our Christian
kids. Don't buy the lie that your kids won't ever feel the pressure,
face the temptation, or give in. With that in mind, here are some short
suggestions on what you can do to equip your teen to stand strong in
the face of mounting pressure:
First,
take a look in mirror. When it comes to alcohol consumption, what kind
of lifestyle are you modeling for your kids? A code of biblical moral
conduct lived out in the house is the most powerful shaper of your
child's own spiritual values and behaviors. Are you modeling obedience
to the laws of the state? Does your model teach that drunkenness is
wrong? Does your example leave the impression that alcohol is a
necessary precursor to successful social interaction or fun? Are you
walking your talk?
Second,
establish rules and standards. Contrary to what some people think,
alcohol and drug use is relatively low among adolescents whose parents
have set strict rules. These rules are most effective when parents
monitor their teen's behavior and enforce those rules with rewards and
punishments. Take a stand and set some boundaries. Your kids need to
know that underage drinking is immoral and illegal. Research has shown
that parents are more effective as advocates of drug abstinence if they
can say, with credibility, that drug use, drunkenness, and underage
drinking is morally flawed behavior.
And
third, play "spot the lie." Instead of tuning out when the parade of
beer ads begins, spend time processing the ads with your children and
teens. Help them spot both the lies and the bait advertisers use to
sell them on beer consumption.
I
was raised in a home where abstinence was practiced. While my parents
didn't believe that taking a drink put someone on a fast one-way trip
to hell, they did believe that drunkenness and underage drinking were
wrong. I've chosen to practice abstinence in my home. With the number
of alcohol and drug problems I've experienced with family, friends, and
the teens I've worked with over the years, it's been an easy choice
that makes sense. While some might argue that I should be modeling
responsible drinking, I'm convinced I am. While the way I've chosen
might not be the direction God leads you to take, it's my hope you'll
prayerfully seek to consciously address your kids in a world where
they're learning that underage drinking is both normal and fun.
The
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this
article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are
distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.
For
more information on resources to help you understand today's rapidly
changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth
Understanding.
Wednesday
September
23
2009
10:05 AM
|
Feelings—Someone more than feelings
By Walt Mueller
Last
summer, I taught my buddy, Ian, how to water ski. Just like I’ve done
with dozens of rookie skiers before him, I ran through a rote litany of
instructions designed to prepare Ian for his first-time experience.
After telling Ian how to position himself in the water and what to do
to get out of the water, I issued this warning: “Once you’re up and out
of the water, you will feel an overwhelming desire to pull your
hands and the tow rope close to your chest. I guarantee it. But don’t
do it! Do it, and you’ll fall over backwards. Tell yourself right now,
‘No matter how much I feel like doing otherwise, I will keep my arms extended and not pull in.’”
Why
was I so emphatic? Because I remember the first time I water-skied. I
pulled my hands into my chest several times over—which of course meant
I fell over several times. Even after those falls and repeated warnings
from my instructor, I continued to give in to my feelings, which meant that I was spending all my time in, rather than on, the water.
Guess
what happened to Ian? Like most other rookie water-skiers, Ian trusted
his feelings more than the truth of my instructions. He started off
spending more time swimming, than skiing.
At
the same time Ian was learning to water-ski, a young 20-something named
Katy Perry sat atop the music charts thanks to kissing another girl and
liking it. This pastor’s daughter/former CCM singer turned mainstream
pop star told her impressionable young listeners that she was
conflicted about the experience, based not on any sort of enduring
moral standards, but on her feelings: “If felt so wrong, it felt so
right.” In the end, feeling “right” yielded to “like,” which turned
into alright, and Perry’s message came through loud and clear. The old
’60s counter-culture motto—“If it feels good, do it!”—is now embraced
and embodied as a mainstream cultural mantra, so much so that if you
choose not to adopt it and live your life under submission to
some outside authority—let’s say Jesus Christ—you’re hopelessly
old-fashioned, terribly out-of-date and downright ridiculous.
For those of us who love, raise and work with kids, the word feel
(and all its relatives) is the f-word that should concern us the most.
Not because feelings are bad, but because the growing reliance on
feelings as the guide for life is a challenge that cuts right to the
core of everything we’re called to teach our students about life in the
Kingdom of God.
Our students are swimming in a culture where—increasingly—the authority
most appealed to when faced with decisions of all kinds is my own feelings, which by the way, can change at any given point in time. Trust me, I know.
Any
of you who’ve spent any amount of time around me when I’m talking about
youth culture know that Jessica Simpson has had me scratching and
shaking my head for a long, long time. As high-profile people go, she
just might be the poster girl for the place feelings now play in
determining the shape of our Christian faith. Just when I start to
forget how confusing her strange mix of stated belief in God’s Word and
embodied allegiance to whatever feels good really is, she goes and does
something that puts her right back in the news. This time it was the
September issue of Elle magazine, where she talks about current
boyfriend Tony Romo being “the first person I’ve spiritually connected
with.” He takes her to church. They pray aloud together before meals.
And—here’s the clincher—they pray together before going to bed.
If our goal is to lead our kids into a deep faith that informs and directs all of life for the rest of
their lives, then we must endeavor to understand the realities of where
they’re at so that we might effectively point them to where they are
called to be.
Recent
research from the Barna Group indicates that cultural icons like Katy
Perry and Jessica Simpson are living and modeling values, attitudes and
behaviors that already are deeply embedded in the fabric of who kids
are. The Barna Group’s David Kinnaman and his team of researchers say
the shape of faith for Christian kids is less and less orthodox in
nature. Instead, they are embracing what’s called a “nouveau
Christianity.” Christianity and the Christian life are being
reformulated, with belief in absolute moral and spiritual truth now a
sign of closed-mindedness. The good news is that faith is still an
acceptable attribute and pursuit among students. But the fact is that
while students still embrace values that may be consistent with
Christian beliefs (goodness, kindness and tolerance), the research is
showing that those values are not based on biblical foundations. Sadly,
students are increasingly skeptical of the Bible.
As
we look at the world around us, we must recognize, reckon with and
earnestly address the cultural reality that our students are not
embracing an Other-defined faith that’s built on the unmovable
foundation of God’s Word (incarnate and written), but a personally
defined fluid faith built more and more on their own feelings. Feelings
rule. Being nurtured in this type of world means that it will be okay
or even virtuous for our Christian students to kiss someone of the same
sex and like it, or to love and serve God (or whoever/whatever they feel “God” is) by praying with their unmarried significant other at bedtime—simply because it feels right.
In
order to effectively turn the tide on this shift from timeless
foundations to in-the-moment feelings, it’s helpful to understand the
unique forces converging in the lives of today’s kids. Why the shift?
First, feelings are part of their humanity.
God has made us all to be emotional people. Emotions and feelings are
not evil or bad in and of themselves. They are a God-ordained part of
our makeup. The Scriptures are full of references to human emotion,
running the gamut from happy and joyful, to grieving, down-trodden and
sad. To be human is to feel. To try to squelch our emotive nature is to
squelch our humanity. In sharing in our humanity, the God-man Jesus
Christ emoted across the full spectrum, from laughter and joy, to
sorrow and weeping. All humans emote, and there’s nothing wrong with
that. We must recognize the temptation to overreact that could come
with doing ministry in a feeling-oriented culture; that is, that we
throw out the beautiful baby of human emotion with the bathwater of
misplaced emotional function.
Second, the advent of sin into the world undid everything good, including our emotions. Like
us, our kids are depraved human beings. Sin and its results have
infected every corner of the world and every nook and cranny of our
lives—including our emotions. In a post-Genesis 3:6 world, sorrow and
sadness visit every life, at times taking up residence in the lives of
God’s people for years and years on end. Not only that, but God’s order
and design has been turned upside down, including the functioning of
our emotions. Like everything else that’s been broken by sin, our
emotions have been thrown out of whack. Along with the rocks, trees,
mountains and all humanity, our emotions groan and cry out for
redemption. And, in the brokenness that is our world, we sometimes
allow our emotions to be removed from their God-given place, allowing
them to become idols that we follow and serve, rather than a gift to be
used in service to God. We live our lives and understand truth based on
our feelings, rather than filtering our changing emotions through the
unchanging truth of God’s Word—and properly feeling good about that.
Third, adolescents are passing through a developmental stage that is, well, emotional! Jerry
Scott and Jim Borgman bring a smile to my face every day. They’re the
creators of the popular daily comic strip “Zits,” a hilariously funny
and all-too-true peek into the life of an angst-ridden teenager by the
name of Jeremy Duncan, his frustrated and clueless parents, and his
interesting group of friends. Not a day goes by without Jeremy offering
readers insight into the emotionally tumultuous and change-filled
teenage years. And, not a day seems to go by without his confused
parents looking at each other with befuddled looks as if to say,
“What’s happening to our boy???” What’s happening is that Jeremy and
his teenaged peers are growing through a short period of life that’s
jam-packed with more confusing changes, growth and questioning than any
other period of life they have faced or will have to face. As a group,
teenagers are generally more feeling-oriented and emotionally
vulnerable than any other age group. Remember middle school?
Consequently, they’re especially vulnerable to falling into the trap of
making and embracing an emotionally defined mutation of true
Christianity.
Fourth, the postmodern world stresses feelings. Perhaps
nothing in our culture reflects this more than the world of marketing.
In the more modernist early days of television advertising, products
were generally marketed using rational appeals to viewer reason. A
product was visually compared to a leading competitor’s similar
product. When, let’s say, one shirt came out of the washing machine
cleaner than the other, there was “scientific” proof as to which
product was the one to purchase. Generally speaking, that’s not so
today. A classic example of how advertising reflects this shift from
reason to feelings is the case of James J. Smith, a child psychologist
who spent six years helping advertisers research how to sell to
children. Children want love and acceptance, so, like adults, they are
willing to spend their money to get it. The basic premise of
advertising to children and teens involves “luring” them with a basic
felt need and “cloaking the message.” Smith cites an Oreo cookie ad as
a perfect example. The ad flashes 30 images of happy children, but the
product logo is shown only once. The intended result is to have
children associate the cookie with feelings of love and happiness.
Nothing is mentioned about the cookie’s taste or nutritional makeup.
The appeal is entirely emotional.1 The postmodern world has rejected
modernism’s rationality and reason, and it plays well to
developmentally vulnerable kids. Kids choose to believe and live by
“what I like” or what “feels good to me.” Ravi Zacharias says the
postmodern generation “hears with its eyes and thinks with its
feelings.”2 Consequently, more and more of our kids construct their own
spiritual reality and beliefs using personal subjective experience as
their authority.
Fifth, our kids feel bad and they desperately want to feel good.
I have a love/hate relationship with my friend Chap Clark’s term
“systemic abandonment.” Chap says it’s the defining characteristic of
today’s emerging generations. In other words, all of the institutions
that should be caring for and nurturing kids are ignoring and failing
them. I agree. I love the term because it’s accurate. I hate the term
for the same reason: it accurately captures the ugly reality of what’s
happening with our kids. Because their God-given emotions are correctly
telling them that something’s deeply wrong, they oftentimes compensate
in dangerous and inappropriate ways in an effort to feel better.
Sometimes the avenues pursued are simply cover-ups intended to
temporarily anesthetize themselves to reality (drugs, alcohol, sex,
disordered eating, materialism, etc.). At other times, they create and
re-create false realities—including spiritual realities—that may feel
good and work for the moment, helping them to deal with their difficult
and broken lives.
Finally, they lack any compelling examples of an emotionally balanced life. Stated
simply, there are very few adults in their lives who are modeling a
lifestyle of balanced emotional management that brings honor and glory
to God. Both inside and outside the church, kids see adults (many times
their own parents) choosing and living distortions of orthodox
Christian faith and life based on what feels good to them.
What
can we do in and through our homes and ministries to bring about a
corrective shift that would lead to a balanced and biblically realistic
knowledge of who God is and how to live in His world according to His
Kingdom priorities? How can we teach our kids to embrace a faith that
shapes and informs their emotions, rather than the other way around?
First, always, always, always emphasize the authority of the Word.
Most kids don’t realize that all of their decisions in life are made
based on some authority. Usually it’s a combination of authorities
adopted unconsciously, including peers, media, parents, self, etc.
While it is worth seeking out and accepting wise advice from these
people and things, the primary authority we’re called to consciously
live under is the authority of the One who made us. We must teach our
students to consciously recognize, understand and embrace God as the
authority in their lives, looking to the incarnate Word Jesus (who said
that “all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me,” and
God’s written revelation of Himself in the Scriptures, which is
“God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and
training in righteousness”) to guide every step of our lives. But don’t
stop there. Teach them how the authoritative Word speaks to every area
of life, going to great lengths to speak God’s truth on the matters to
which they are deferring to the authority of their feelings. In our
postmodern world we can easily be tempted into feeling like we
should downplay any truth claims, including those found in the
Scriptures. It would be a shame for history to remember our era as the
watershed moment when parents, pastors and youth workers didn’t do
enough to help kids embrace the authority of the Word over the whims of
their wind-blown emotions. Feelings should never eclipse truth. Truth
should always direct our understanding of our feelings as the only
trustworthy feelings are those grounded in truth.
Second, teach them about the dangerous practice of trusting their feelings.
I recently had a discussion with a college graduate about a major
decision she had made. I didn’t know her well, but she asked my
opinion. Before voicing my concern about what I saw as an obvious
disconnect between her professed faith and her choice, I wanted to know
more about how she came to her decision. She summed it up in four
words: “It just felt right.” When I was kid, my dad picked up on the
fact that I had a bent toward making impulsive decisions based on my
emotions. He warned me that my feelings could play tricks on me, that
they were unreliable and that, if trusted, they could lead me down the
path of making many unwise, dangerous or even immoral choices. I’m not
sure he “felt” I was listening at the time, but his warnings did sink
in, albeit rather slowly. In fact, it took some hard lessons learned as
the result of feeling-oriented choices to help me see just how tricky
our emotions can be. I have learned to never, ever make choices when my
emotions are especially high or especially low. If I do, I might give
my feelings the sway they shouldn’t have. Walk the kids you know and
love through the Scriptures to see how dangerous emotions can be. The
Old and New Testaments are full of examples of people who allowed their
feelings to eclipse truth and suffered the consequences (David and
Bathsheeba, Lot’s wife, Ananias and
Sapphira, etc.). On the positive side, the Scriptures and the history
of the church also are filled with stories of those who refused to
equate the absence of good feelings with the absence of God (Noah,
Abraham, Joseph, David, Job, Paul, etc.). They held on to the truth
they knew even though their feelings led them down the road of being
tempted to do otherwise. One of the best and most convincing tools in
your arsenal is to become vulnerable with your kids, sharing the good,
bad and ugly from your own life and feeling-based choices.
Third, make sure they know that following Jesus doesn’t always feel good. I
have many fond memories of a childhood spent in Sunday school. Our
teachers utilized all the high-tech tools of music, puppets, crafts and
flannel graphs. What I remember the most is the music, particularly the
songs that are still ingrained in my mind due to weekly repetition. But
over the years I’ve come to regret a few of those songs because they
were filled with lies and bad theology. I think some of those songs did
more harm than good. Do you remember singing “Happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy are the people whose God is the Lord?” I do. It messed me
up. It wasn’t until later in life, when I thought that difficulty in
life was a sign of the absence of God’s blessing and presence, that the
words of Jesus—“take up your cross and follow me”—suddenly became real.
I learned that the life of discipleship is costly, painful and usually
quite difficult. Martyrs for the faith know grace, mercy and peace. I
don’t believe that they really feel good—physically or
emotionally—while dying for their faith. Chances are your kids won’t be
martyred. But they will suffer in this life. Most of them are suffering
already. They need to know that growth usually comes through suffering.
In the words of one preacher, “God often puts his children to bed in
the dark.” Rarely is it something that we like. We need to teach our
kids to meet the unchanging God who is—rather than invent a god that
makes sense at the moment—in the midst of their suffering.
Fourth, give them the knowledge and skill to utilize the “this I knows.” My
wife teaches three-year-olds in Sunday school. Over the course of the
year she leads them through the memorization of eight questions from
the Children’s Catechism. She asks the questions and they recite the
answers back—week, after week, after week. In our worship service, we
recite the Apostle’s Creed—week, after week, after week. Some might
think we’re subjecting ourselves to brainwashing, or, at the very
least, empty ritual. But I have to tell you that this has become one of
the most valuable moments of my week. I pray it would be the same for
the kids. Why? Because all during the week I face challenges to my
faith—some of them quite attractive and compelling. Emotionally, I
might even want to “go for it.” But then I remind myself of the “this I
knows”—the truths that never waver or change—that serve to keep my
emotions, and the dangerous choices that could result from trusting
them, in check. I have learned to talk to myself, rather than listen to
my emotions. We would serve our kids better if we would fill their
wells full of “this I knows.”
So
whatever happened with Ian? After pulling his hands into his chest a
few times, Ian finally got it. When I swung around and picked him up
after his first successful run, he looked up at us with a big smile on
his face. “Now that felt good,” he said. And so it should. And from time to time, living a life in submission to the Way, the Truth and the Life will feel very, very good.
The
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this
article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are
distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the
Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.
Tuesday
September
15
2009
10:27 PM
|
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Wednesday
September
09
2009
3:55 PM
|
I love technology
By Dr. David W. Fraze
“I love technology.” Those three words evoke images from the closing scenes of the now teenage cult classic movie Napoleon Dynamite.
The words are from the song—if you can call it that—Napoleon’s brother
Kip wrote and sang as a tribute to the online dating service and
technological world that made it possible for him to meet his new bride
Lafawnduh. Maybe not to the level of making a true love vow through
song, but today’s culture is passionately embracing technology and all
its gadgetry.
It
is not just the young who are smitten by the technology bug. I was on
an elevator recently and could not help but listen in on a conversation
between a woman and her high school-aged daughter. With cell phones
out, the daughter was explaining the use of various keys in relation to
their text messaging function. I could not help but smile and comment
to the confused looking mother, “Texting? Yep, teenagers text all the
time.” I am not so sure my words brought her any comfort as she
struggled to comprehend the number of times she had to push a specific
number key to get the desired letter of the alphabet. “I love
technology?” Love it or hate it, technology impacts all of us and
continues to change and to bring considerable change to the adolescent
experience. For parents reading this article, we have gone a long way
from “spinning the vinyl” to downloading the MP3 ... or MP4 for that
matter.1
I
spend a lot of time with teenagers. As a result, I am constantly asking
questions concerning the latest and greatest techno gadgets, and then
get to witness first hand the impact such gadgets have on teenage
culture. I read popular and researched articles, watch news reports,
skim technological Web sites … you get the picture. I am very
intentional about keeping up with change. Still, I continue to struggle
to keep my head above the waters of the next technological wave hitting
the beaches of teenage America. For instance, just for fun, one of my student interns, Justin Tuley, mentioned I should visit the Trendhunter Web site.2
Wow! This Web site is to technology what Willy Wonka’s Chocolate
Factory is to candy. Anything imaginable or soon to be imagined can be
found on this site. I found a phone with five fold-out touch screens, a
bike powered iPod, digital coffee tables, a robot golf caddy, digital
eating wearable to teach kids how to eat with utensils, and I even
found a digital Bible key chain and a cross-shaped MP3 player. After
touring the “Technology Trends and Gadgets” link for 30 plus minutes, I
had barely made a dent in the 181 pages of content. Needless to say, I
had to call it quits and move on to my day job. So, before the next
wave hits the shore, let’s take a snapshot look at two of the top
technologies used by today’s teenager.3
Social networking sites
“Hello,
my name is David and I have a Facebook account.” You respond, “Hi,
David.” Facebook, like other similar sights—MySpace and Digg, are just
two examples— are places of real, social networking used by students
and an ever-increasing number of adults.4 It is a place
where you can post pictures from your latest adventure, talk smack
about your favorite sports team, connect with long lost school buddies,
join or create an interest group, support a cause or political
candidate, play games, post announcements and communicate through
instant message chat, person to person message exchange or comment on
any of your “friends’” home page pictures or “wall” so all your
“friends” can read and react.
As
the introduction suggests, the world of Internet social networking can
become rather addicting. For instance, if a student develops a
connection with me during a speaking event and they discover I have a
Facebook account, they will contact my account within hours after the
event and ask to be added to my list of friends. Then, if I do not
confirm them as friends soon enough, they get upset with me. Understand
it is not because I am something special; it is because this is what
teenagers do! Teens socially network on the Internet and take such
interaction seriously. According to the March 2008 issue of Current Health,
the top online activities of teenagers are networking on
social-networking sites, reading blogs, watching videos and listening
to podcasts.5 John, a teenager I spoke with recently said he
believed that while online, teenagers spend “75 percent of their time
on Facebook type stuff (Stuff included video and podcasting sites),
while much of the Internet remains unexplored.”6 John’s comments are right on target with that reported by Current Health writers.
Setting
aside the growing number of adult online social networks (By the way,
my Facebook friends list includes college presidents and various
professionals), some adults frequently respond, “What do these students
do in the ‘real world?’” Let me say this clearly, the online social
network is part of a teenager’s real world. Furthermore, the
farther down the technological road we travel and the gadgets used to
connect us in cyber space become faster and more user friendly, the
stronger online social networking will become.
As
with all technological advances, there is good and bad to consider. The
good is found in the way teenagers are using social-networking sites to
create community with those who want to stand against social injustice,
poverty and social inequity. Teenagers are also using online
communities as avenues of moral accountability and spiritual
discussion. The bad—as online interaction continues to be a clearer
reflection of face-to-face interaction—is seen in the increasing
concern with cyber bullying, sexual deviance and predator like behavior
found among some social-networking sites.7
A
darker side of social networking does exist. While Facebook is one of
the current “hot sites” for social interaction and is constantly
monitored, there are other social-networking sites that can be accessed
by teenagers that are not monitored by administrators, monitored
infrequently, and/or monitored with adult audiences in mind. For
instance, over the last few months, Juicy Campus—a site in which users
can post, anonymous, slanderous, unverifiable comments for anyone to
read—has received mainstream press coverage for the lawsuits being
generated by universities, businesses and individuals against the
content and procedures followed by the developers.8 Such
sites have generated a lot of discussion on how far is too far when it
comes to the lack of control present in certain social-networking Web
services. Related—but different in presentation—are a number of image
pages9 that make for interesting conversation starters and
social interaction. One of my favorite sites, because of the dramatic
way it has impacted pop culture, is Post Secret.10 This site
features a number of card size images with messages representing a
secret participants want to anonymously share with the Post Secret
social network. The cards are monitored and posted via administrators.
It is interesting to see which cards evoke response and interaction
from viewers who identify with a particular shared secret. In short,
there are countless social-networking sites based on music, sports,
schools, sexuality and just about any other topic you can imagine. Be
warned and informed, not all of these sites are monitored and/or
appropriate for teenage participants or any participants for that
matter.
With
that warning and in keeping with the usual online safety rules, the
majority of teenage online users participate in relatively safe social
exchange areas. So, whether I like it or not, checking my Facebook
account has become more than a leisure type activity, it is something
that I do frequently every day. Why? Because Facebook is a place
teenagers use to contact me and begin life-changing conversations. Note
that I said “begin.” Teenagers who trust my presence in cyber land
trust my presence in “real” land and typically carry on conversations
with me face to face. So, “Hello, my name is David, and I am a proud
Facebook user.” By the way, if you want to wade into the waters of
Facebook or another online social-networking site, join to
authentically interact with teenagers. Veteran social networkers know
how to protect their virtual turf. If they think you are networking to
spy, they won’t confirm you as a “friend” and/or drop you from their
groups.
Video entertainment
I
am going to assume you are aware and acknowledge the amazing
advancements in portable video technology. If not, go to your local
shopping complex, look in the electronics department and be amazed.
Even though I do not advocate constant noise on trips (I prefer
talking), such advancements have been the answer to many a parent’s
nightmare scenarios during long commutes and trips. However, you may
not be aware of the explosion of online movies, commercials, political
statements, satirical spoofs and wide array of advertising pieces
flooding the online video market. The videos are produced and posted
from a wide range of video expertise. There are professionally done
videos and others that are creations of people simply messing around
with a cheap camera and some low-grade video editing software.
Whatever
the format, online video resources have changed the way consumers
access and use the Internet. Advancements in technology have made it
possible for someone to watch newly released movies from the privacy of
their home as well as participate in board meetings, academic classes,
political rallies and even church services from the comfort of a
location of their own choosing—in real time—via video links. As
mentioned earlier, the excitement generated by online video technology
has made video entertainment a solid second place time grabber for
teenage Internet users.
If “video killed the radio star,” then YouTube killed MTV. At present, YouTube is one of the hottest video posting and viewing areas online.11
Alright, do me a favor. Stop reading this article, go to
www.youtube.com and look around for a while. No really, it’s okay. Go
look around. What did you find? Being an election year, you probably
encountered a number of Obama and/or McCain political messages. More
than likely, you noticed that not all the videos were created and
endorsed by campaign officials. There were many videos produced by
private individuals who have strong feelings for or against a given
candidate. Through YouTube, anyone with a camera and editing software
can voice their opinions. The goal of YouTube video posting is to
attract viewers (score hits) so that it makes the recommended video
selection list and/or the currently being viewed video list. Either
way, the more people watch, the more attention is placed on the
product, person or idea being communicated in the video. Entertainers
such as Will Ferrell have brought a lot of attention their way by
posting videos that are a little edgy and start a swell of online chat
on, you guessed it, social-networking sites.
Advertisers
have caught on to this and now frequently employ YouTube as a platform
to launch viral advertising campaigns. According to Trendhunter, “the
video, which is called ‘Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a Wii
Fit’ has gone more than a Wii viral—it had 1,014,120” views in its
first six days!12 Did you pick up on that? Over one million
viewers in six days! That is an enormous return for a crudely
constructed online video. It is easy to see how the popularity of
YouTube and similar online video Web sites factor into the program
shifts being experienced by MTV, VH-1 and other TV video watching
stations. You no longer have to wait for your favorite music video to
cycle through network programming. Instead, online users can have
instant access to their favorite bands via online video entertainment.
Like
social networking, there is a dark side to be aware of with video
entertainment. I am sure there have been pornographic selections prior
to my discovery, but fairly recently, I began noticing blatant postings
of pornographic video selections on YouTube. The content is alarming
enough, but even more alarming is the simple “confirm you are over 18”
type boundary that exists between a minor and explicit content. While
YouTube’s terms and conditions state that users must be over 18,
emancipated, or gain permission from a guardian, etc., this may sound
cynical, but anyone can lie. YouTube is an awesome entertainment area
and avenue for evangelistic interaction. (Yes, I said and believe
that.) However, the pull to sample explicit material has to be taken
seriously. By the way, material that would be labeled soft core porn is accessible to all YouTube participants.
“I
love technology.” Those three words may evoke totally different images
after reading this article. If you are a little—or a lot—alarmed at the
dangers involved with social-networking and video entertainment sites,
you are not alone. However, there are steps you can take that can help
alleviate the fear and bring back the love to technology.
What should we do?
Same old song—Stay vigilant. I am still amazed that parents allow their teenagers to have a computer in their room.13
Parents, you have to encourage your teenager to practice safe Internet
usage and hold them accountable to the standards you set. Chief among
all Internet safety practices is to never provide identifying
information. Remember, even innocent exchanges of information with a
trusted friend on Facebook can be traced, leading to unwanted attention
from predators.
Acknowledge
the importance of and strive to remain informed of the important role
social networking and video entertainment plays in the life of
teenagers. A
lot of fear is generated from a lack of education concerning the
Internet and its use. Related to this is the tension caused when adults
attempt to downplay the significance of the Internet with teens.
Parents, even though it may not make sense to you, acknowledge that
social networking occurs for teenagers in cyberspace and attempt to
remain educated on the sites your teenager is visiting. Education takes
the fear away and gives you more control over usage.
Encourage your teen to take a technology fast. Okay,
this has to be done by the entire family to work, but it really can be
a blessing. Develop a plan and find a day or series of days in which
all technology is declared off limits. It will be awkward at first, but
imagine the peace and refreshment that will come from placing all
phones, computers, TVs, radios, iPods, etc. in the off position.
Dr.
David W. Fraze is a presenter for ParenTeen Seminars
(www.parenteen.com) and for three years was the host of the weekly TV
segment, “The Teenage Tightrope” (www.theteenagetightrope.com). He also
served as the director of the youth and family ministry program at Lubbock Christian University
for five years. Dr. Fraze currently works as the director of student
ministries at the Richland Hills Church of Christ, while continuing his
speaking schedule and teaching as a graduate adjunct professor of youth
ministry and related studies.
Tuesday
September
08
2009
10:52 AM
|
Welcome to the new SSM Irvine website!!! I am Leo Galarza (the weird guy on that video), I am the Student Pastor for Saddleback Student Ministries in Irvine. Our amazing IT department has been working on this website for the last couple of months and the last thing that they need (in order to go online), is for me to write a blog entry, so this is my attempt to do so.
We are so excited that you are here checking us out. We hope that this website can be a tool for you and your student. It is here where you would be able to find what we believe, events, programs, articles to help you understand the teenage culture and much more.
We are going to have weekly updates so make sure you check it out.
If you have any questions about anything please let me know!
Leo
Tuesday
September
01
2009
11:11 AM
|