Saddleback Lake Forest

It’s Back-to-School time – a perfect opportunity to begin a series on The Armor of God from the book of Ephesians.  Shopping for school supplies often includes buying paper, pencils, 3-ring binders and calculators so our children will head to class organized and prepared to focus on learning.  But how much time do we spend organizing and preparing ourselves spiritually so we can focus on learning from God’s word?  Join me in my personal challenge to consciously wear the full armor of God this fall and gain knowledge from following Jesus’ example.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with THE BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  Ephesians 6:13-17

THE ARMOR OF GOD – PART 1:  THE BELT OF TRUTH….A STORY FROM EMILY, AGE 14

My friend, Jenny, asked me to go to the mall with her Saturday night, but I had already made plans to go with my volleyball team.  Instead of telling her about my plans, I told her I couldn’t go with her because I had to babysit.  I felt bad about lying to Jenny, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings either.  I had a blast with my team at the mall!  We went out to dinner, did a little shopping, and stopped to get ice cream on our way home.  Everyone was taking pictures with their cell phones and one of the girls posted them on Facebook.  That’s how I got caught in my lie. 

Jenny didn’t go out that night.  She stayed at home and got on Facebook to chat with friends instead.  When our mall pictures were posted, Jenny saw me with my team.  She knew I wasn’t at home babysitting.  Jenny knew I had lied.  I realized I had made a terrible mistake and I wanted to make it right, so I went over to her house to apologize in person.  I explained what happened, but I didn’t use it as an excuse for lying.  I also promised Jenny I wouldn’t lie to her again.  Jenny may have been bummed that I had already made plans, but I hurt her feelings more by not being honest.  I learned the hard way that you can get caught in a lie, even a small one, so now I know:  Honesty is the best policy!

FROM THE BIBLE:

The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.  Proverbs 12:22

The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.  1 John 2:4-5

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      Have you ever told a lie?  If so, did you get caught? 

2.      Lies tend to hurt others.  Have you hurt someone’s feelings by not being honest?

3.      Discuss a couple ways Emily could have handled this situation differently.

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

The Belt of Truth is a pretty basic principle.  There is truth, and there are lies.  Even that statement speaks volumes.  There is truth:  Truth is singular, simple, it’s black and white.  It’s either true, or it’s not.  There are lies:  Lies are plural because, if you tell one, it usually leads to another.  Abraham Lincoln once said, “No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.”  That’s the problem with lies; they have a vicious tendency to build on each other and, before you know it, you can’t remember where truth ends and deception begins.

The bible makes it rather clear in Proverbs:  “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.”  God expects us to tell the truth and is pleased when we choose to do so.  I think most people would agree that living an honest life, having a clear conscience, and being truthful to others is a whole lot easier than walking the tightrope of a liar.  However, the apostle John reminds us that lying is not just reflective of our words, but of our actions as well.  In 1^st John he writes, “The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”  We can’t be considered truthful if we are deliberately disobedient to the principles we read about and study in the bible.  But how do we begin to do that?  There are numerous principles stated in scripture!  So let’s start with the basics:  “Stand firm then, with THE BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist.”   Wearing the Belt of Truth strengthens our armor by consciously and consistently choosing truth to guide our words and actions.  God will be delighted!

MEMORY VERSE:

The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.  Proverbs 12:22

TRUSTING GOD THROUGH TRANSITION – A CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE FROM ADAM, AGE 11

When I was younger, my Mom used to read us bedtime stories from a children’s bible.  I loved the stories and all the neat pictures in that book, but my favorite bible story was the one about David and Goliath.  David was just a small boy who used one smooth stone and a sling to strike down the giant, Goliath.  The picture was really cool!  It showed this huge man falling facedown at the feet of a boy who looked younger than me!  And he wasn’t even wearing any armor!  David’s words from the story were printed under the picture, “I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty.”  David used God’s strength to give him the courage to fight Goliath!

I really liked the story about David and Goliath because I’m short and kind of small in size, just like David.  But the story helped me to realize that I didn’t have to be big and strong to do great things.  I can use the same courage David did to help me get through new situations, too.  I’m going to be in 6^th grade this year and I get to go to middle school with the 7^th and 8^th graders.  At first I was kind of nervous about being one of the youngest kids at school, but Mom reminded me to start the school year with the courage of David.  I don’t think I’ll be fighting giants like David, but whatever comes my way I can feel safe and secure knowing God is there to help me wherever I go….even when I go off to middle school.

FROM THE BIBLE:

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.  Philippians 4:6-7

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.

 I Corinthians 2:9

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      Have you ever been nervous about a new situation?  A new neighborhood?  A new school?

2.      What made you feel safe and secure?

3.      Have you ever thought about praying and asking God to help you?  The memory verse below is a good reminder how God is always with you.  Turn the verse into a short prayer.  Use it the next time you are nervous or need courage. 

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

Our lives are filled with periods of transition.   We welcome a new baby into the family, we adjust to a move across the country, or we mourn the loss of a friend or loved one.  Some life changes are easy and even joyful, while others are more traumatic and cause us to be apprehensive or create moments of discomfort.  My oldest son is about to start his senior year in high school and, I’ll be honest, I’m already feeling a little gloomy knowing next fall he will be heading off to college.  It will be a big transition for our entire family, but I have time to prepare – I have a big “heads up”.  But what about the life changes that catch us by surprise?  How do we react when a season of transition blindsides us and causes heartache or disappointment? 

In the verse from Philippians, Paul tells us, “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.”  That should be our goal!  God wants us to face difficult transitions – not with apprehension, fear, or doubt – but with a clear sense of God’s presence in the midst of it.  I don’t know about you, but many times I just want God to rescue me from my present circumstance.  However, God wants me to rely on Him and welcome His grace so that “before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.”   How do you embrace spiritual growth during difficult times?  I’ve found it helpful to dive into the bible and surround myself with His words of truth and clarity.  No transition is too difficult for God’s word to provide direction and encouragement.  When life throws you a curve ball, respond by stepping out in faith and trusting God through transition. 

MEMORY VERSE

I am the Lord your God and I will be there to help you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

GUILTY BY ASSOCIATON….MATT, AGE 14

This was my first year at a new junior high.  My family moved from Florida late in the summer, so I didn’t know anyone until I walked into class on the first day of school.  The first guy I met was John.  We were in the same class for Science so we started working together on projects.  John was always trying to get things done fast; that way we had more time to goof off.  Most of my classmates thought John was funny, but the teachers didn’t seem to like his jokes or pranks.  He was sent to the office a few times for arguments he started during lunch, too.  I didn’t mind being John’s friend because he was fun, he included me, and he was popular with the other kids.  Then one day things changed.

Over the weekend, someone vandalized and spray painted the boys bathroom using bad language.  When I got to school, everyone was talking about it.  A lot of kids were saying John did it, so when he got called to the office no one was surprised.  Then they brought in John’s friends, including me, and called all our parents.  I didn’t have anything to do with it so, after my story checked out, I went back to class.  My parents were really cool about the whole thing.  Mom said it was a learning experience; a reminder how you can be “guilty by association” even if you didn’t do anything wrong.  Looking back, I knew John was always pushing the rules and trying to sneak things by.  I just never thought I could get into trouble because of something he did.  Dad said the real lesson was learning to be careful and wise in choosing friends.  I still like John and I’m nice to him at school, but I don’t hang out with him anymore.  Next year when I go to high school I won’t make the same mistake again!

FROM THE BIBLE:

Do not be deceived:  “Bad company ruins good morals.”   1 Corinthians 15:33

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.  Proverbs 13:20

Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth.  Ephesians 4:14

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      Do you have friends that always seem to get in trouble or make bad decisions?

2.      Matt was sent to the office just because he was John’s friend.  Have you ever been in trouble because of something a friend has done?  Are you still friends with that person?

3.      In 1^st Corinthians the bible says, “Bad company corrupts good character.”  Remember to choose your friends wisely because their actions can represent your character to others.

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

It’s fairly easy for us to identify when our children make a bad decision in choosing a friend.  We see the warning signs by overhearing crude language, seeing bad choices play out, or observing inappropriate behavior.  We respond by gently guiding our children away from that friend, and reminding them to be more careful in choosing new friends.  We do this, as a responsible parent, because we know they can be influenced by the friends they spend time with.   The more time they spend with a disrespectful child, the more likely they are to follow that child’s bad example.  But have you ever stopped to think about the friends you choose to associate with?  Have you ever stopped to reflect how your relationships may be influencing your behavior or decision making process? 

In Proverbs, the bible reminds us to “walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”  As adults, it’s equally important to surround ourselves with people of sound Christian character because our friends and business associates do have an impact on our lives, sometimes in a profound way.  Just like our children, the more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to be influenced by their actions and opinions.  Sometimes a fun and exciting friendship can cause us to overlook behavior or decisions that are unhealthy or unbiblical.  If a relationship continues to tempt you to compromise your morals and values, it’s probably a warning sign for action.  Jesus walked among the sinners of this world in an attempt to change their hearts through his loving example.  What influence are you  having on those around you?  Are you making a difference through your loving example?  I’m sure you are familiar with the old cliché, “One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.”  Although the phrase was coined by the English poet, Geoffrey Chaucer, in the late 1300’s, it’s message is still applicable today.  The behavior and opinions of those we spend time with can influence our actions and our way of thinking.  Make your choices in line with God’s will for your life.

MEMORY VERSE
Do not be deceived:  “Bad company ruins good morals.”   1 Corinthians 15:33

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT – PART 9:  SELF-CONTROL….AS DEFINED BY NICK, AGE 17

Since I didn’t have a job at the time, I used to do a lot of chores around the house to earn money.  I would get paid for washing my parent’s cars, too.  Dad was coming home from a business trip, so I thought I’d surprise him and have his car washed and waiting in the garage.  As I was backing it out into the driveway, I heard a big crack and the sound of something breaking.  At first I didn’t know what it was, until I looked and saw the passenger side mirror just hanging on by a couple wires.  I guess I wasn’t watching carefully when I backed the car out of the garage.  The mirror hit the wooden post of our side porch; the post was fine, the car mirror wasn’t. 

It’s a fact - duct tape can be used for just about anything!  My Mom used duct tape to hold the mirror together again and secure it to the car door.  If you didn’t look too close, you couldn’t even tell it was broken.  But I had to be honest.  I had to tell Dad what I did.  And guess what?  He didn’t get mad!  He wasn’t exactly happy about the inconvenience of getting it fixed or paying the bill, but he never raised his voice at me in anger.  He never made me feel bad about my mistake.  Now that’s what self-control means to me.  Self-control is reacting calmly to a situation that would normally cause someone to lose their cool.  My Dad chose to react with patience and kindness.  He said it was an accident, and glad no one was hurt.  He also knew I had learned something from my mistake.  Now I’m really careful when I back the cars out of the garage.  But most of all, I remember my Dad’s gentle, controlled response when he could have reacted with anger instead.  Dad showed me what self-control is all about – that’s the real lesson I learned that day.   

FROM THE BIBLE:
A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.  Proverbs 25:28

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  2 Peter 1:3, 5-8

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      Have you ever done something that you really regretted? 

2.      Have you ever made a mistake that you wish you could undo?

3.      What does “self-control” mean to you?  Why do you think it’s an important character quality?

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

I don’t think it’s an accident that self-control is the last fruit of the Spirit.  I’m convinced self-control is last because it’s a summing up, a culmination, of all the other fruits combined.  If in fact we are going to be successful in living a life based on “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness”, it’s probably going to take a lot of self-control!   Have you ever lost your cool?  Have you ever lost control?  I sure have.  It’s a good thing my husband is loving and big on forgiveness!  And here’s the catch:  most of us know when we’re crossing the line; we know when we’re starting to lose control.  We get a little distracted and the next thing you know – we don’t have a clue how to undo the path of destruction we caused.  Been there?  Done that?  Me, too.  I’m grateful God is also loving and big on forgiveness!

The apostle Paul wrote the book of Galatians to remind early Christians that God’s favor cannot be earned by following rituals or obeying rules.  As followers of Christ, we are to stay close to him – earn his favor – by resisting temptation and becoming more Christ-like.  It’s tempting, almost natural, to list excuses in an attempt to rationalize our bad behavior or poor choices.  But Paul reminds us to look honestly at ourselves, recognize when we’re doing something wrong, and correct destructive or sinful behavior.  The verses in 2^nd Peter illustrates how the fruits of the Spirit are all connected:  “…make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.”  Living a life based on these biblical principles is hard work sometimes, but I’m committed to keep trying.  I’m confident if I manage to live daily by the fruit of the Spirit, my reward will be great – it will be eternal!

MEMORY VERSE
My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus.  Acts 20:27

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, GENTLENESS and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT – PART 8:  GENTLENESS…AS DEFINED BY CATHY, AGE 16

I like this word; gentleness.  Have you ever tried to yell the word gentleness?  Screaming it just doesn’t sound right either.  If the word gentleness had a voice, I bet it would ask to be spoken softly, whispered quietly.  It even sounds soft and soothing to my ears.  When I was a child, my parents used the word gentle a lot.  They would say, “Use gentle hands with the puppy.”  Or, “Remember to be gentle when you hold your baby sister.”  Soft, calm, soothing, tender:  gentle. 

Gentleness is one of those words that grows-up with you as you age.  For example, as a young child it was all about how I touched or held something, but as I’ve gotten older I realize it’s more about my character - how I talk to and treat others.  I know how to handle a puppy or hold an infant, and I also understand the benefit of being gentle with my words.  I don’t always know what might hurt someone’s feelings, so I have to remember to be considerate and kind, not harsh or rude.  I think the bible verse in Titus is an awesome example to live by:  “…to speak no evil about anyone, to live in peace, and to be gentle and polite to all people.”  Some people say I’m a nice girl; mild mannered and a little shy.  I like to think of myself as good, calm and a bit quiet - a gentle girl.

FROM THE BIBLE:

 (Remind the people)…. to speak no evil about anyone, to live in peace, and to be gentle and polite to all people. 

 Titus 3:2

Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.

Matthew 11:29

God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Colossians 3:12

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.     Have you ever been told to be gentle when you touch an animal or hold a baby?

2.     What do you think is the opposite of the word gentleness?

3.     Read the bible verse Titus 3:2 from above.  Explain what it means using your own words.  What did you learn?

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

As I’ve gotten older, and even more so after I became a parent, I hear myself saying phrases that I heard as a child.  It sometimes catches me by surprise and most often brings a smile to my face.  One of the most amazing flashbacks from my childhood occurred in church one Sunday.  Before starting his sermon, the pastor began in prayer, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.”  That was the same thing my Grandmother used to say for prayer before family dinners!  I looked down at my bulletin and there it was – the prayer was actually a bible verse:  Psalm 19:14.  I was caught by surprise – my Grandmother had been quoting scripture to us for all those years!  I just didn’t know it. 

While preparing to write about gentleness, my Grandmother’s bible verse came to mind.  It embraces the spirit of gentleness and speaks volumes about how God wants me to live my life.  God isn’t satisfied when just the words of my mouth are pleasing to Him.  He takes it up a notch.  He expects the meditation of my heart to also be acceptable in His sight.  God’s wisdom is great!  He knows that if my heart is pure and filled with genuine love for others, the words coming out of my mouth will reflect that gentle spirit.  The bible says exactly that in Matthew 12:34:  “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”   When I find myself frustrated or becoming discouraged, I often pause to say my Grandmother’s prayer.  The words are comforting, calming and soothing to my mind – a gentle reprieve from my hectic life.  The prayer also keeps me grounded and on-track.  It reminds me to stop selfishness and pride from controlling my behavior.  “Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.”  Matthew 11:29   And that’s just what I need sometimes, a place of rest in my day!

MEMORY VERSE

 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.  
Psalm 19:14

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  
                                                                        Galatians 5:22-23

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT – PART 3:  PATIENCE….AS DEFINED BY RYAN, AGE 9

I don’t understand why I always have to be patient.  Whenever Mom and Dad talk about patience, it just means I have to wait for something I really want right now!  Like when I’m standing in line at Disneyland, “The line is going as fast as it can, Ryan.  You just have to be patient.”  Or when I’m trying to ask Mom a question, “Ryan, I’m on the phone.  Can you just wait patiently until I’m finished with this call?”  And especially on Christmas Eve, “You know we can’t open presents without Grandma and Grandpa, Ryan.  Please be patient until they get here.”

Dad says I have to practice being patient; that it just doesn’t happen all by itself.  He says working at being patient is no different than practicing for sports or studying my spelling words.  The more I do it, the better I’ll get at it.  I waited until Dad was done reading the paper before I asked him to shoot hoops with me, and we played basketball together until it was time for dinner!  I let my sister go first at the yogurt shop, and I didn’t even get mad when it took her forever to pick out the toppings she wanted.  I’m really trying to be more patient, and Dad says he can see a big difference!

FROM THE BIBLE:
 

These things I plan won’t happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass.  Just be patient!  They will not be overdue a single day!  Habakkuk 2:3

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.       Are you a patient person?  If not, what situations cause you to feel or act impatient?

2.       Some people cry, sulk, or get angry when they get impatient.  How do you act if you become impatient?
 

3.       What changes can you make to help you become a more patient person?

4.      Name one friend, or adult, tha tyou would describe as a patient person. What do they do that makes you feel this way about them?  Next time you start to feel impatient; try to imitate the actions of that person.

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

I think it’s safe to say - no one likes being around an impatient person!  Patience isn’t something that comes naturally for most people, and few of us have the patience-thing totally nailed down.  It’s easy to spot impatience in the actions of others, but more difficult to recognize it in our own life.  The bible talks about this concept of self-reflection in Luke 6:41.  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  I did a little self-reflection to uncover my top three impatience triggers.  I am more likely to show impatience when; 1) I’m tired, 2) my children are misbehaving, or 3) I get stuck dealing with (what I consider to be) an incompetent service provider.  My impatience is at an all-time high when, by chance, these three triggers collide - on the very same day, at the very same time!  Been there, too? 

Like in Ryan’s story, I have to practice being patient; it just won’t happen all by itself.  Let’s be honest.  We expect our children to be practicing and implementing patience as they grow up and become more mature.  As parents or adults, we also need to be holding ourselves accountable to that very same standard.  Being tired doesn’t allow me a free-pass to show impatience with my family or friends.  And just because my children are acting up, it doesn’t mean I have an excuse to be rude or impatient with them.  The next time I get frustrated with a service employee, I should give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they are new on the job or just having a bad day, too.  But patience is not frustrated acceptance or bitter resignation.  True patience is simply love in action.

There is one person who demonstrates true patience:  God, our Father.  As our Father, He is patient with us because He wants us to grow up and become more mature, too.  He desires for us to become more Christ-like and receive His ultimate gift of salvation.  “And remember, the Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved.” 2 Peter 3:15   I’m thankful He’s a patient God!  He’s giving me time to grow in my spiritual maturity.  He’s filling my life with opportunities to embrace and treat others with loving patience.  I’m striving to make patience a daily goal - and the more I do it, the more patient I will become.

MEMORY VERSE

"But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently."  Romans 8:25

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT – PART 2:  JOY….AS DEFINED BY CLAIRE, AGE 11

My Mom asked me if I knew the difference between happiness and joy.  We talked about it at church one time, so I had already thought about it a little.  In church they said joy comes from inside my heart, because God loves me, and that it doesn’t depend on feeling happy about what’s going on at home or at school.  One time I was really disappointed because my soccer team didn’t win in our Cup tournament.  I think we were better than the other team, but we lost in the championship game.  Where’s the joy?  I got to play soccer with my friends!  I even scored a goal!  Even though I wasn’t happy about the game, the smile on my face showed everyone the joy in my heart. 

I think joy is being able to be happy even when things don’t turn out the way you want them to.  Sometimes it’s easy for me to get sad or disappointed when things don’t go my way, but I just try to forget about it.  I try to remember all the things around me that are fun and good.  That’s what joy means to me.

FROM THE BIBLE:
 

For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  Romans 14:17 

¹⁰If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  John 15:10-11

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      How do you act when you are sad or disappointed?

2.      When things don’t go your way, do you try to forget about it or do you let it bother you for awhile?

3.      Claire says joy is being happy even when things don’t always work out.  How do you define joy?

4.      Read the Memory Verse below.  What reason does it give for filling our lives with joy?

5.      Name three great things in your life…things that fill your life with joy!

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

The second Fruit of the Spirit is joy, but it’s easy to mistake happiness for joy.  I heard a pastor describe the difference something like this:  Happiness is an outward emotion based on circumstance, but joy is internal.  It comes from God.  So regardless of our circumstances, we can choose to be joyful.  The bible doesn’t say our lives will be free of pain, disappointment, or sorrow.  The bible doesn’t tell us we will understand the trials we may face.  But in John 15 the bible does say, “If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love…I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Our joy can be made complete by obeying God’s commands, remaining in His love, and allowing His joy to be present in our daily lives.  Sounds easy, right?  No way!  I have faced some personal challenges where I struggled to find joy in the midst of the crisis.  Being happy seemed impossible, almost laughable, but I finally realized having a joyful attitude was the better goal to strive for.  I couldn’t control the circumstances, but I chose to stand firm in obeying God’s commands so I could sense His love and joy in my heart.  My life will always have trials and challenges, but I’m getting better at choosing to use them as an opportunity to build my character, to grow my faith, and to experience joy as Christ intended.  In the book of James, the bible talks about the importance of doing just that!  ² Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  James 1:2-3   A dear friend once told me, “The unbearable is the beginning of the curve to joy.”  Allow your unbearable moments to bring you closer to experiencing God’s joy in your heart.

MEMORY VERSE

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.  Psalm 126:3

For a couple weeks, I have felt compelled to focus on The Fruit of the Spirit; the scripture verses from the book of Galatians listing the character qualities of Christ.  The bible lists these traits to challenge us to live a more Spirit-filled, Christ-like life.  I’ve prayed about this (prayer would be another good topic) - the idea just wouldn’t go away.  I even ran a couple devotional ideas by my oldest son, Nick, to get his perspective.  He chose The Fruit of the Spirit without blinking an eye!  So, I don’t know where this is going, but I’m stepping out in faith and writing my first devotional-series.

 ²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT – PART 1: LOVE….AS DEFINED BY STEVE, AGE 17

By Diane Calcaterra

I don’t think our high school is very different from other schools.  We kind of form smaller groups out of the larger student body.  We have the popular kids and the loners, the athletes and the chess club members, then the really smart nerds and the not-so-smart students.  I’m not saying you can’t be in more than one “group” at a time – that the lines can’t be fuzzy enough to group-hop through high school.  But for the most part, we all hang with our main group of friends.  So when someone doesn’t fit into ANY group, they stick out like a sore thumb!  Kathy is that person at my high school.

Kathy is different.  Kathy has a handicap.  She is fun and energetic, but sometimes laughs a little too hard at our jokes.  She is our biggest fan at all the school sporting events, but often gets carried away with loud and boisterous cheering.  She usually wears a big smile on her face, so everyone notices when she is having a bad day.  Kathy is different, but that doesn’t keep her from being popular.  When you think about it, it’s really cool!  The whole school embraces her handicap, overlooks her mental limitations, and welcomes her into ALL their groups!  I’m really proud of myself and my classmates for looking past Kathy’s physical appearance to see the warm and loving person within.  That’s one way I define love:  to reach out to others with kindness, respect, and dignity.  Everyone knows Kathy - and to know her is to love her!
    

FROM THE BIBLE:

"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."  John 13:34-35

 ⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…. ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      Do you know someone who has a physical or mental disability?

2.      How do you treat them?  How do your friends, or classmates, act around them?

3.      Love isn’t just physical.  From the story above, how does Steve define love?

4.      Does Steve’s definition of love match the Memory Verse below?  If so, how?

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

There are thousands of books, songs, and websites attempting to capture the essence of love.  But more often than not, these sources have us confusing love, an outward Christ-like action, with lust, an inward self-indulgent desire.  In First Corinthians 13:4, Paul defines love quite simply:  “Love is patient and kind”.  Patience is the ability to bring peace and calm to a brewing perfect-storm.  Patience provides us with the wisdom to control our emotions instead of letting our emotions control us.  Kindness is taking the initiative, being the first one:  to compromise, to be gracious and helpful, and to offer forgiveness.  Love is a verb.  Love is patience and kindness in action, a choice we make (or neglect to make) each day.  God intended love to be evidence of the Holy Spirit working in us as we choose to love Him and others - deliberately putting the thoughts and feelings of others before our own selfish desires.  I love the comforting words of Paul in verse 7:  “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”.  Love the people in your life - and if necessary, use words!

 MEMORY VERSE

Let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.  1 John 3:18 

BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL – AS DISCOVERED BY JAMES, AGE 11

By Diane Calcaterra

I was so pumped!  We had 5^th grade student council elections at my school, and I got the most votes for Vice President!  It was neat to be chosen by my friends and all the other students!  My family was excited for me, too!  After the election, they let all the officers out of class to talk about our job as student council members.  Since I’m Vice President, I get to do a lot of really cool stuff.   My favorite job is giving the news and weather on the morning TV show during the school announcements.  The teacher sponsors also talked to us about the responsibility of being leaders and role models for the whole school.  I didn’t really understand what that meant until last week.

During free reading time, I was joking around and laughing with a couple friends that sit near me.  My teacher, Mrs. Clark, called me to her desk.  She said she was disappointed in me for goofing around in class and causing other students to lose focus, too.  She reminded me that the job of Vice President isn’t just about being a leader on TV.  Mrs. Clark explained how other students look up to me, and sometimes may copy my behavior in class or at recess.  I guess that’s what being a good leader and role model is all about.  Now I try harder to follow all the class rules and play fairly while out at recess.  I know other students are watching me even when I’m not on TV, and I want to set a good example.

FROM THE BIBLE:  

¹ "Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. ^{2 -4} "When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure—'playactors' I call them— treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. 

Matthew 6:1-4

TABLE TALK WITH THE KIDS

1.      What do you think it means to be a leader?  A role model?

2.      Have you ever done something because you were copying the behavior of a friend?

3.      Can you think of someone who might want to mimic your behavior - try to act like you?

4.      The memory verse below tells us to follow the example of Christ.  Jesus didn’t behave well just to impress others; he did it to follow God’s commandments.  Your friends and classmates may try to act like you, so make sure you’re proud of the example you are setting.
 

WHAT ABOUT ME?  LET’S DIG IN…

When you ask people to name a role model or leader, many times they’ll give you the name of a famous person in history, a decorated war hero, or an inspirational athlete.  But as a parent, it’s important to remember our behavior is always being watched by our children.  Even if you don’t have children of your own, there are still little eyes watching what you do and little ears listening to what you say.  The video camera is always recording, too – not just when you’re out in public or trying to make a good impression.  What a wonderful opportunity God has given us….the ability to use our actions and words to make a positive impact on the lives around us!  I always think it’s neat when people interviewed credit their Mother or Father for being a positive influence in their lives – for being the motivator behind the aspiration to do great things in life.  Let’s remember to take advantage of the opportunity to be a great leader and role model in ALL the lives we touch.  And if you get stuck or don’t know what to do or say – memory verses work for adults, too: 

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”  1 Corinthians 11:1

 MEMORY VERSE

¹Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.  1 Corinthians 11:1

You can’t fool god – a true story from my childhood by Diane Calcaterra

It must have been a warm night because my older sister, Karen, and I were outside waving goodbye to Mom and Dad.  They were going out for the evening, and we were old enough to stay at home alone.  The minute their car pulled out of the driveway the race was on!  Karen and I were both running to the house, trying to get there first, so we could lock the other one out!  Our house had an enclosed side porch and I made it to the outside door first, but couldn’t get it locked fast enough.  So I raced to the inside door and used my body to push against it so Karen couldn’t get in.  She was right on my heels and pushed hard against the door.  The door held fast, but the glass pane didn’t.  Her shoulder came crashing through, scattering broken shards of glass everywhere!  I still can’t believe how fortunate we were; neither one of us had even the smallest cut from all that glass.

Of course, we didn’t want Mom and Dad to know what happened, so we swept up the mess and pulled the remaining broken glass from the door frame.  After surveying our clean-up job, we felt the incident would go unnoticed for at least a few days.  As luck would have it, a curtain hung on the door where the glass used to be, so you couldn’t even tell the glass pane was missing.  We were pretty proud of how well we had covered up our mistake.  But as soon as they opened the door to enter the house, that “lucky” curtain exposed the truth!  With no glass to keep it in place, it blew right in through the open space toward Mom and Dad.  I think Mom’s first words were, “Girls, what happened to the glass door?”  We didn’t fool them – not even for a minute!

FROM THE BIBLE:  

^“13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”  Hebrews 4:13

^“7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow. ⁸ Those who sow to please their sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:7-9

Table talk with the kids

1.       Did you ever break something and try to cover it up?

2.      Have you ever done something wrong, and then tried to blame it on someone else?

3.       How long did it take for the truth to come out?

4.      The bible verses above tell us nothing is hidden from God’s sight.  You may trick people around you for a short time, but you can never fool God.  Be truthful right away, because that’s the right thing to do according to the bible.

What about me?  Let’s dig in….

 I’m sure we can all pull stories from our childhood where covering up our mistakes, or telling a lie, seemed like a great idea at the time.  Maybe you did something wrong and nobody ever found out.  So you felt like you “got away with it”….felt that nobody knew, or would ever have to know about it.  Even as adults, we sometimes try to cover up our mistakes or hide the truth by telling little white lies.  But Hebrews 4:13 tells us that nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered – and someday we must give an account of our actions.  I especially like verse 7 from Galatians:  Do not be deceived.  God cannot be mocked.  People reap what they sow.  It gives me comfort knowing God has my back and will not allow injustice to prevail.  He’s my wing-man!  Verses 8 through 9 motivate me to do things to please the Spirit, so that from the Spirit I will reap eternal life.  That’s what it’s really all about anyway – doing good here on earth so at the proper time we will reap a harvest in heaven - for eternity!  By your example, teach your children to have integrity by being accountable for their words and actions.  Remind them that they may fool you or others, but they can’t fool God.  And God has the last word!

Memory Verse: 

     ⁷ You should not speak evil in the name of God; you cannot speak God's truth by telling lies.  Job 13:7

Being a good friend – FROM A TEENS’ DIARY, JESSIE, 16

Thursday:  My life changed the day I found out Dad was taking that new job in Atlanta.  I’m happy for him since it’s a big promotion, but I didn’t realize how much the move would mess up my life BEFORE I even moved!  Everyone seems sad that I’m leaving, but some of my friends appear to have “moved on” without me.  My best friends, Lauren and Annie, don’t call or text as much as they used to.  It seems like they’ve stopped including me when they make plans to get together and started inviting another friend, Heather, to join them instead.  I’m excited about this weekend though.  It’s winter formal and I’m going with a big group of friends!

Sunday:  Well, the dance was fun, but I felt excluded again.  I tried to just hang with my other friends and pretend nothing was wrong, but Lauren, Annie and Heather hurt my feelings when they kept posing for pictures without me.  They huddled together, laughing about text messages, but never shared them with me.  Since I’m moving, it seems like Heather is taking my place with my best friends.  I never thought my friends could make me feel so isolated, so lonely.  I want to talk to them about how I feel, but I’m not sure what to say.

FROM THE BIBLE:  

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15

¹⁴ Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.  ¹⁵Don't be hateful to people, just because they are hateful to you. Rather, be good to each other and to everyone else.

John 15:12-13 

¹² I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you.  ¹³And here is how to measure it – the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.  John 15:12-13

1 peter 3:8-9         

⁸Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. ⁹Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Table talk with the kids

1.       Have you ever felt like Jessie – felt that you were being “left out” by your friends?

2.      Re-read the bible verses above.  Based on scripture, how should Lauren and Annie treat their friend, Jessie?

3.       Based on scripture, what should Jessie’s response be to her friends? 

4.      If you were Jessie, would you talk to your friends about how you feel?  If so; before you do, pause in prayer and ask God to help you in choosing the right words to say.

If Jessie decides to tell her friends how much she is hurt by their rejection, she should realize that talking to them may not change the way they treat her.  But she can use this experience as a way to notice how NOT to treat others.  By choosing to respond with patience, compassion, and humility, Jessie will have done her part by acting according to God’s word.  Many times personal trials, although painful, can be great learning experiences.

What about me?  Let’s dig in….

As adults, rejection isn’t as obvious as it was in high school.  But there are still times where “blatant exclusion” is being disguised as “selective inclusion”.  We, too, can learn from Jessie’s painful experience and be ready to reach out to “encourage anyone who feels left out”.  Also, in times of personal crisis you can tell who your friends really are.  True friends will stand by you and encourage you.  They won’t necessarily agree with you (or what you’re doing) – but they will not judge or abandon you.  They will “lay down their life for you” with compassion and blessing.  And they will pray for you.  Finally, don’t be tempted to “repay evil with evil or insult with insult”, but instead be “good to each other and to everyone else”.  God places a great deal of importance on being a good friend.  Friendship is mentioned almost ninety times in the bible. 

Memory Verse: 

¹⁴ Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.  1 Thessalonians 5:14

Thank you to everyone who provided feedback about last weeks’ blog!  While you liked the simplicity of the discussion questions for your children, you asked for a deeper look at the scripture and suggestions on how to apply it in your life.  So I will be adding a new section entitled: “What about me?  Let’s Dig In”.  I’m hopeful this will meet your needs.  Keep the feedback coming and feel free to post comments about trials you may be facing with your family that need some biblical guidance!    Diane Calcaterra

Using kind words with our family – from the life of Amy, mother of four

What a beautiful spring day!  It was warm and sunny, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  I took the opportunity to open the windows and let the fresh breeze blow through the house.  As I walked to the mailbox I was feeling peaceful, content, happy; still filled with the wonder of God from my morning bible study.  Walking back towards the house, my tranquil afternoon was interrupted by the sound of arguing voices coming from an upstairs window.  “Stop!”  “Hey, I said no!”  “Quit it NOW, or I’m telling Mom!”  I heard a defiant scream and then, “Mommmmmm!”  

I just want my children to stop fighting!  I would like them to talk nicely to each other instead of arguing all the time!  I sometimes struggle to stay calm and controlled myself when I’m faced with these verbal battles.  But I’m aware that my response will set an example for my children.  They will look at how I handle stressful situations to model their own behavior.  Through God’s Word, I am reminded that “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1. 

FROM THE BIBLE:  Ephesians 4:29-32

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Table talk with the kids

1.  Can you relate to the story above?  Yes?  Then, let’s talk about what happened and why.

2.  Is it hard to remember to use kind and loving words when you talk to your brothers and sisters?

3.  Do you like it when people talk harshly or rude to you?  How does it make you feel?

4.  How about agreeing on a phrase or word to say that will trigger us to stop all the insults before they get out of hand.  Add some humor while you’re at it:  “Hey, bring it in guys!”, or “Cool your jets!”, or a one-word reminder, “Taters!”

What about me?  Let’s dig in….

Let’s break it down into practical terms.  Verse 29: ^“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” 

 It sounds so simple, but very hard to do on a daily basis.  Yet imagine the example we would be setting for our children if we just focused on eliminating “unwholesome talk” and replaced it with words of encouragement that are “helpful for building others up”.  Verse 31 gives us clear examples of talk that is unwholesome:  bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander.  Verse 32 commands us to ^“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Wow!  That verse speaks volumes!  To be “kind, compassionate and forgiving” – now that’s a goal for daily living!   So stop, take a breath, and say this simple prayer to calm your mind before you stop the madness in your home:  “Dear Lord, guide me in choosing kind and loving words as I work to resolve this conflict.”

Memory Verse: 

  ¹ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

A Child’s Disappointment –  from the view point of Kevin, a 10 years old boy

Last night they announced the All-Star basketball team.  I thought for sure I would make the team, so I kept waiting for them to call my name.  They never did.  I play basketball all the time with some of the boys who made the team.  I’m feel like I’m just as good as they are – maybe better.  I was so disappointed, jealous, and kind of embarrassed, so I left the gym right after the ceremony without even giving my friends a high-five.

Today I am disappointed for a different reason.  I am disappointed with myself.  I know I should have been excited for my friends who made the team.  I should have said, “Congrats”, but I was too upset.  My coach always tells us to show good sportsmanship; win or lose, on the basketball court or in life.  I guess I need to talk to my friends today.  I want to say, “Hey guys, congrats for making the team!”

FROM THE BIBLE:  James 3: 13-18

¹³Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. ¹⁵Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. ¹⁶For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

    ¹⁷But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. 

Family Discussion Ideas

1.  Have you ever been disappointed?  How did you handle it?

2.  After reading from the bible, would you react differently now?  If so, how?

3.  Can you see how envy, jealousy, or selfish ambition kept Kevin from acting according to God’s example?

4.  Do you think it’s ever too late to give someone else encouragement?

Memory Verse: 

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

 James 3: 16