We all have friends making all the wrong choices in life. They are the one dating the wrong person, always hanging around the wrong people, and complaining about why wrongs are always happening to them. The reality is people around you and I are in pain. I know it is tough to love the unlovable people in your life, but we are called to be like Jesus and love.
Why is getting involved so tough? First, people have a distorted view of God’s grace & love (1 Timothy 1:14). Second, people have a distorted view of the Christian life (Ephesians 4:25). Third, people have a distorted view of the Bible (Matthew 7:1-5).
We are called by Jesus to not sit by and allow our friends to continue to make wrong choices. Why? James 5:19-20 says we can play a role in helping people make wise choices and we should never pass by an opportunity to help those hurting around us.
Okay, so you have a friend who is making all the wrong choices and you are wondering how you can help? Let’s talk about your first steps to helping your friend.
1. Get very clear about the issue
Ask this Question: Is this issue unbiblical, unwise or unimportant?
2. Ask God if you’re the one to address the issue
Ask this Question: Do I sense that God might be leading me to confront my friend?
3. Be gentle, honest and wise
Galatians 6:1 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”
Checklist Before Talking with Your Friend
* Pray first that they will be open and receptive
* Go with a sense of broken-heartedness
* Consider the timing
* Stay away from accusing or condemning terminology
* Share your own personal struggle it relates to this area
* Assure them of God’s forgiveness
* Realize you won’t be able to rescue them from consequences
Point your friend to Fresh Start with God
Get your friend to join a Small Group
Our pastoral team is here to help. Email Jayk@saddleback.com if you need to talk.