I've wasted a lot of time trying to figure things out that are of no consequence to my life. God honors, and is pleased by, my pursuit of truth, but only when it is rooted in pure motivation. Oftentimes, I am ensnared by deviations that pose as truth seeking questions. I feel like I need to know everything when that is simply not my place. In fact, an attempt to know all things is an attempt to make myself God, which is what got us into this sinful state in the first place.
I do not see everything, I do not need to see everything, I should not see everything, I cannot see everything; I do see Jesus. This is what matters: that I see Jesus, that I fix my eyes, my heart, my mind, my intentions on Him and His glory.
I must seek knowledge and understanding, but I must seek it for and through Christ. If my understanding is to be true, it cannot be my own, because my heart begets selfishness and lies. Therefore, in order to know truth, I must learn through my transformed heart, which only exists through Jesus and His Holy Spirit. Am I capable of explaining truth on my own? To an extent, I can parrot phrases and ideas that describe truth. Am I capable of understanding truth on my own? No! It is the Spirit that gives us understanding and discernment, and all reason or logic should not be abandoned, but rather it should be submitted to Him for fullness, completion, and refinement. No matter how sound my reason or how strong my argument, if it does not come from God, it is nothing because everything exists for Him and through Him.